Good beer is increasingly easy to find in America, and that is good news. However, there are still plenty of gag-reflex-triggering beers on the shelves, and it is time these offenders of good taste were called out.
Here are my picks for the 10 worst beers in the world.
10. Coors Aspen Edge If giving up carbs means giving up any semblance of body or flavor, as is the case with this "beer," it is probably better to carry a few extra pounds.
9. Milwaukee's Best I understand this is a sentimental favorite of many, as it takes them back to the old days. Well, human sacrifice harkens to a simpler time, too. If you want to kill your taste buds, try battery acid — it probably tastes better.
8. Sleeman Clear Lager Another low-carb entry, though here the delicate and nuanced notes of lighter fluid and Dumpster drippings on a blistering August day achieves heretofore unknown lows.
7. Cave Creek Chili Beer This is the perfect beer for people who hate themselves and desire punishment. This unholy union of a whole chili pepper and a fiendishly nasty pale lager will get medieval on your tongue.
6. Winter Park Beer While Orlando Brewing makes many fine ales and lagers, they also make this vitamin-infused blasphemy. Generally, when people say things like, "Fruit doesn't belong in beer," I think of the many excellent fruit Lambics and disagree. But, vitamins? Vitamin flavor doesn't belong in beer! Heck, it doesn't even belong in vitamins — it's just that the vitamin companies haven't found a way to make vitamins palatable. And neither have the brewers of this beer.
5. Bootie U95 I thought with a name like Bootie, the makers of this brew were attempting to position it as a dance club beer. Turns out, it simply describes the aroma. Tallahassee Ratebeer.com member Aurelius sums up the Bootie this way: "The name sounds like some sort of nuclear isotope in a barium enema, and it delivers all the flavor the name suggests."
4. Hurricane High Gravity Lager This malt liquor is to beer what Carlos Mencia is to comedy: crass and phony. The unfettered use of cheap ingredients, designed solely to supply alcohol on the cheap, imparts the aroma of acetone and chemical solvents. Yummy. Safety Harbor Ratebeer.com member Ibrew2or3 has this to say: "Should I be drinking something that smells like an auto shop?"
3. Chapeau Exotic This Lambic is proof that rare Belgian beers are capable of great suckitude. Writes Orlando Ratebeer.com member Boboski: "One sip leads to a joyful drain pour. I hope it doesn't ruin my sink."
2. Camo Genuine Ale The can has 5 X's on it, but all are missing the little skulls that would inform people of what is really inside Camo cans. If lethal doses of corn sugar and nail polish are your thing, Camo is your beer.
1. Busch NA Non-alcoholic beers are bad by nature. Remove alcohol, remove flavor. But Busch NA seems to have gotten around the alcohol part of the beer by steeping corn husks in seltzer water to make a tea that Andrew Zimmern wouldn't drink.
— Joey Redner is a Tampa resident and world beer traveler.