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Once upon a time, there were no hidden fees

By Kyle Kreiger, Times Staff Writer
Posted: Jul 07, 2008 06:22 PM

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As children, we were willing to believe anything.

Santa Claus can travel 'round the world in one night to deliver presents to kids everywhere.

The Easter Bunny hops in once a year to drop off painted eggs and chocolate candy.

The Tooth Fairy always knows when one of our pearly whites is waiting under the pillow.

As kids, we were gullible.

But we grew out of it.

Now, as adults, we live in the real world.

So would someone explain to me the existence of the Fee Fairy, a real-life gremlin who keeps showing up?

This fairy wants your money. Lots of it. She started small (handling fees, convenience charges) but got bolder as time went by.

Not long ago people were shocked that some airlines started charging travelers to check their luggage.

But that's just the latest example in an ever-growing list of surcharges.

Hotels have grown fond of the idea. Resort fees have become the norm. That's a surcharge that covers the use of amenities like the pool. And check the fine print before grabbing that $5 Diet Pepsi from the minibar. There might be a "restocking fee." I've seen them as high as 20 percent, boosting the price of that can of soda to $6.

Doesn't sound like much? PricewaterhouseCoopers estimates the U.S. hotel industry will collect $1.75-billion in surcharge fees this year. That's more than triple the $550-million the industry pocketed in 2003.

That's not just a lot of Pepsis. That's a lot of Pepsi stock.

Book a cruise and you will probably have a daily fuel surcharge added on. That's on top of port charges and fees.

Ready to fly away from all this? Then get ready to pay a passenger facility charge. And if you call an airline to book your flight, don't be shocked to pay extra.

The next time you want some light reading, do an online search for "banking fees." It might be the only way to find your bank's list of charges, since most don't publish them.

Where will all this stop?

Who knows.

Grocery stores could charge us to use a shopping cart, or the express lane. Gas stations could institute a use-of-pump fee. Restaurants could boost revenue with a table-clearing surcharge.

Silly?

Sure. But no more so than that minibar restocking fee.

The worst part isn't paying the fees. I don't mind the airline security fee, and the fuel surcharge most cruise lines are charging is just a sign of the times. (Sorry, I still can't think of any way to justify the minibar restocking fee.)

What upsets me is that companies try to hide mandatory fees by not including them or taxes in the "price" of their product or service.

Book airfare listed at $400 and the price ends up at $442, about a 10 percent increase.

The $689 per person price for a seven-night cruise becomes $858, a jump of about 25 percent.

Truth in advertising? Not here.

Are corporations relying on our gullibility, or our apathy?

I would like to believe there are businesses that have the guts to tell us the real price up front, but I can't.

I'd be better off believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Times staff writer Kyle Kreiger rants about the serious and silly with one question in mind: Why? Contact him at kreiger@sptimes.com.