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Tiger's sport renders pundits less than virile

Tiger Woods

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Tiger Woods

If Tiger Woods had played baseball, the world media might not have bogied their headlines and story teases so horridly. They could have had Tiger called out at home. Tiger goes down swinging. But Tiger Woods plays a sport not particularly known for its colorful lexicon. Putter puns take you only so far. The sad fact is, there is no good golf metaphor for a juicy sex scandal. But that's not for lack of trying. These are recent examples from newspapers and TV.

Another 'Birdie' claims she had a torrid affair with golf billionaire Woods.

Daily Record, Scotland

Think of it as a triple bogey. This morning a third other woman says she, too, has been carrying on a relationship with Tiger Woods.

CBS News

Comics Tee Off on Tiger.

Good Morning America

You know the difference between a Cadillac Escalade and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Austin American-Statesman, Texas

An unplayable lie: 1. a lie in which the ball is impossible to play; 2. Tiger Woods' explanation of his late-night car wreck.

News-Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Ind.

No mulligan for Tiger's errant stroke play.

Vancouver Sun, British Columbia

Tiger Woods' hopes of halting his marital meltdown were knocked into the rough yesterday when three more mistresses were added to his scorecard.

The Express, England

Woods drives well on a fairway but doesn't fare well on a driveway.

Geelong Advertiser, Australia

Tiger Woods may try to avoid the rough on the golf course, but does he like it rough in the bedroom? According to one of his alleged mistresses, the answer is yes, sir.

Commercial for The Joy Behar Show, HLN

Tiger's bad life: From now on, Woods playing from the rough.

Boston Herald

Don't Judge Tiger Until You've Walked a Par-5 in His Nikes.

Winnipeg Free Press, Manitoba

Word for Word excerpts items of note from various sources.

Tiger's sport renders pundits less than virile 12/12/09 [Last modified: Saturday, December 12, 2009 3:30am]
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