Be ready. Pretty soon, billions of cicadas will start crawling out of the earth after 17 years underground and swarm the East Coast, looking to make love. Not with you, probably. This flock of flying nasty has been underground since Bone Thugs-N-Harmony were on the music charts, nursing on tree roots and growing. When the ground temperature hits 64, out they'll come, outnumbering humans between North Carolina to Connecticut 600 to 1.
We just know you're wondering: What do I do with all those extra cicadas? Here's what.
Top Ten Things To Do With All Those Extra Cicadas
10. Cicada kebabs. (Just run with it.)
9. Commemorative cicadas. Paint them with great moments from the Dole/Clinton debates.
8. Fish hooks + hot glue + cicadas = Cicada ear rings.
7. Cicada cheese wontons. Seriously. From the University of Cincinnati-Clermont biology website comes this recipe:
6 oz. cream cheese
30 freshly hot water boiled cicadas
1 pkg. Wonton wrappers
Drop approximately 1 teaspoon of cream cheese on each of the wonton wrapper and then put 1 cicada on each of the wrapper. Fold in corners and seal with egg white. Fry in hot oil until crispy and brown. If needed serve with Sweet & Sour Sauce.
6. Cicada-filled pinatas.
5. Form a rock band. In 2004, an entomologist measured cicadas at 94 decibels, loud enough to drown out overhead airplanes.
4. Cicada drones. Or, if you prefer, closed-circuit cicadas to cut down on crime.
3. Extras in a cheesy new Lifetime movie, On the Wings of Love.
2. Pillow stuffing for those who need to have some noise to sleep.
1. Cicada spirit shakers for Rays games to simulate the annoying buzz of vuvuzelas without having to have any actual fans in the seats blowing them.
Got some more ideas buzzing in your head? Share them in the comments below.