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Keep wedding gift registry classy — like Kate Middleton, not Kim Kardashian

Running around a store with a scanner tagging gifts to add to your wedding registry may sound like fun, but the continuing economic uncertainty means couples must balance their wishes with what guests feel comfortable spending.

Remember the praise Will and Kate got for their charitable registry? And the criticism Kim Kardashian received for the over-the-top items on one of her registries?

It's important to maintain perspective, especially with an increasing number of alternative registries making it easier than ever to ask for everything from napkin rings to help with a mortgage down payment.

"You need to stop and take inventory of what you already have and what you will need for your lives together," says Jodi Smith, an author and the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.

Here are some tips for developing your game plan.

Traditional registries: If you don't already have a complete household's worth of goods — or two — you may want to consider a traditional registry. Think carefully about what your guests are up for when you choose where to register, what you ask for and how much people will be expected to spend.

The store: You may love a little local boutique, but it's not likely to be convenient for all your friends and family. Some may prefer seeing their gifts for you in person. And there still are people who never buy online. So try to register with at least one store that has locations around the country.

The prices: Find stores that regularly provide coupons, like Bed Bath and Beyond does, or have frequent promotions, like Macy's. And offer variety.

"If you register at Tiffany, do maybe Tiffany and Target," suggests Smith.

Plus, if you include gifts that cost less than $20 or $50, guests may be happy to give you a pair, explains Amy Eisinger, associate editor of

If there are a few expensive items you really want — like a $600 vacuum cleaner or a $1,500 set of pots and pans — it's fine to add them to your registry because a group might want to pitch in together, Eisinger says.

The selection: Choose items that last, like china and linens, so they feel more special as gifts. And include a mix — everything from barware to gardening tools — so guests find something that resonates with them.

Alternative registries: A growing number of websites offer new takes on wedding planning and presents.

There are honeymoon registries, at and and other sites; charitable registries like, and; and even cash registries, such as www.ourwish and www.feather, where you can save for a mortgage down payment.

Smith recommends pairing any alternative registry you choose with a traditional one.

Keep wedding gift registry classy — like Kate Middleton, not Kim Kardashian 11/19/11 [Last modified: Saturday, November 19, 2011 3:30am]
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