Now that the American Idol sing-off between Adam "Silence of the" Lambert and Kris "Chin Chin Cheree" Allen is over, there's nothing left now but the voting … and complaining … and wacky conspiracy theories. Who's going to win it all? Idol experts Sean Daly and Eric Deggans pick a side and a fight. Have at it, gents.
Eric's reasons why Adam will win
1. The judges, particularly Simon "I can't wait for a future that doesn't include Paula Abdul" Cowell, did everything but hand Lambert the crown after his second song, a leather-lunged take on Sam Cooke's A Change Is Gonna Come. Cowell's money quote: On American Idol "you hope you can find a worldwide star. I genuinely believe we have found that with you." C'mon America — how much more prodding do you need?
2. Hard to believe it took three people — including fifth-wheel judge Kara DioGuardi — to pen the uninspired mess that is Idol's current winner's circle song, No Boundaries. Ever the sneak, DioGuardi pitched it just high enough that Allen sounded like he was wearing particularly tight speedos through much of his rendition, leaving Lambert the clear winner.
3. I'm sure dogs across America were yowling in pain when Lambert hit some of his highest notes in the Cooke tune. But it also proved, with little doubt, who is the better singer among these two. And Abdul's neon green dress even helped make Lambert's glam rock stylings look a little less flamboyant. Is there nothing Idol won't do to help this guy win?
Sean's reasons why Kris will win
1. The dudes were allowed to revisit their fave performance from the season. Adam, in his creepy, bassist-for-Bauhaus trench coat, opted for Tears for Fears' Mad World. It was okay this time, but it was perfect the first time. Oops. Kris' top vocal was a cover of Kanye West's Heartless. But he did that just last week. Where's the fun there? So he busted out Bill Withers' Ain't No Sunshine — and, sitting behind a piano, he nailed it.
2. Producer Simon Fuller then picked deep, soulful songs for the guys. Sadly, Adam made Sam Cooke's A Change Is Gonna Come sound like Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever. Kris didn't smoke Marvin Gaye's What's Going On; it was too drum-circle pass-the-patchouli. But it was better than Lamby's back-alley feline mew.
3. Kara DioGuardi, who is somehow worse at songwriting than she is at judging, provided the last song, No Boundaries, which was so bad Simon flamed it on TV. Adam tried to howl his way through the cliches, but Kris wisely got all mushy and Grandma's-cookies on us. Way to take a hit, kid. Go claim your prize.
Sean can be reached at email@example.com or (727) 893-8467. Eric can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or (727) 893-8521.