On TV this week
Sophie, 9:30 p.m., ABC Family Sophie's mom enrolls the new addition in a baby academy before the child even has a name. How did she put the kid on the waiting list?
Medium, 10 p.m., NBC Patricia Arquette gets gunned down and wakes up five years in the past. So, getting killed is kind of like pushing the reset button on your Nintendo, apparently.
SERIES PREMIERE College Life, 10:30 p.m., MTV University of Wisconsin kids shoot their own lives without a production crew. Prepare for a lot of pizza-eating, being turned down by members of the opposite sex, and failing Philosophy 101. Or was that just us?
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC Tim Gunn shows up to properly dress the former fatties, while Tabatha Coffey and Brandon Martinez take over their makeovers. Wait, when did this turn into the Style network?
SEASON PREMIERE Deadliest Catch, 9 p.m., Discovery In its fifth season, this series evolves from just about crab fishing to wining a $4,000 jackpot among the ships. Next season, could we get an all female crew? On second thought, that's probably a bad idea.
Out of the Wild: The Alaska Experiment, 10 p.m., Discovery As part of Alaska Week, this show dumps nine amateur survivalists in the wild with nothing but their wits and pieces of a map to guide them. And a giant production crew.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW We're at the stage of the game where we have to pick a favorite: Fo is sweet, but too pretty to win; Aminat is too loudmouthed; Natalie, too affected. Teyona or Allison are next on the chopping block. We'd pick Celia, except her face looks like a scrunchie has been pulled across her head. Place your bets.
Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a Bitch, 9 p.m., Bravo Because you apparently want more of her stand-up, despite her insistence she's on the D-List.
Bravo's Second Annual A-List Awards, 10 p.m., Bravo And while she may be on the D-List, that apparently still doesn't disqualify her from hosting a second show celebrating the best in whatever category they arbitrarily choose.
My Name Is Earl, 8 p.m., NBC This is why you don't pick on kids in grade school — you never know when they'll turn out to be hulking bodybuilders with a grudge.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS Hodges and Wendy show what big nerds they are by meeting at a sci-fi convention where an actor gets killed. Hint: It's not Battlestar Galactica's Kate Vernon.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, 10 p.m., Bravo Patti goes global by featuring an Israeli and a Kurdish Iranian. The goal here is to find women who can point out those countries on a map.
True Lies, 6 p.m., FX If you're actually at home on a Friday, watch the best James Cameron film not called Aliens, Terminator or Titanic. It's the only time we liked Tom Arnold.
Prison Break, 9 p.m., Fox Enjoy a couple of new episodes the next few weeks, before the announced finale. We wonder if they end up back in prison.
DogTown, 10 p.m., NatGeo We like this show, because it's like Dog Whisperer without the relentless self-marketing.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org