On TV this week
An Apology to Elephants, 7 p.m., HBO Lily Tomlin narrates a documentary dedicated to making us feel bad about putting elephants in zoos and circuses. As if watching news footage of wild elephants slaughtered in game preserves across Africa and Asia isn't bad enough.
SERIES PREMIERE Brain Games, 9 p.m., NatGeo Want to learn how to trick people with sleight-of-hand and misdirection? Tough, because Apollo Robbins and Jason Silva will tell you it works, but not necessarily how. Sorry, aspiring pickpockets.
LA Shrinks, 10 p.m., Bravo Dr. V lets her father babysit while she goes to Palm Springs with Matthew. Now we'll get to see firsthand how gramps messed up mommy's head.
Revolution, 10 p.m., NBC Miles has the hots for both Nora and Rachel, but can't decide which one to get shot down by. Well, Rachel wants to break into the Tower and turn the lights back on, so we'll say she's the more ambitious one.
NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS A cartel boss gunned down by the DEA goes missing when his body is stolen. Who wants to go to Mexico for spring break?
Dance Moms, 9 p.m., Lifetime Abby is invited to cohost The View. We don't watch The View, but if you saw her on it, that means she accepted.
SEASON FINALE Robot Combat League, 10 p.m., SyFy It's time to crown a winner, but since the show is over for the season, that means we all came out on top. Unless you watched every episode, that is.
SERIES PREMIERE Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life, 11 p.m., MTV The auto-tuned trash disco queen let her brother follow her around for two years to shoot this reality series about her life. It's a good thing she's remained popular that long, then. Ask the Jonas Bros. about that.
The Rachel Zoe Project, 9 p.m., Bravo Rachel goes through her closet looking for the right outfit for her book shoot. Um, can't she just design the perfect getup? That's what she does, right?
Supernatural, 9 p.m., CW Charlie gives Dean and Sam a case while Sam recovers from the second trial. That means it's time to teach Charlie how to hunt. How relaxing!
Garlic Paradise, 10 p.m., Travel Let's go to scenic Gilroy, Calif., where the annual Garlic Festival will prepare you for the trip across the country to Philadelphia, which smells like anything but garlic. Well, maybe not Rocky's neighborhood.
SEASON FINALE It's a Brad, Brad World, 10 p.m., Bravo Hurricane Sandy prevents Brad from getting Stacy Keibler the perfect dress. What a tragedy! How will he ever cope with buying off the rack in L.A.? Some people have the worst problems!
2013 NFL Draft, 8 p.m., ESPN Everyone in the Sunshine State's pulling for Gator DT Sharrif Floyd and Seminole DE Bjoern Werner. Too bad whoever gets picked first will have to go to the Chiefs.
SEASON FINALE Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime Yeah, some contestant will win, but more importantly, we'll all have to discuss how Zac Posen did as Michael Kors' replacement as judge. Kors himself may weigh in for the runway show.
SERIES PREMIERE Giving You the Business, 10 p.m., Food Franchise employees compete for a chance to become franchise owners. Back in the day, they used to call that "working hard and saving your money."
The Moment, 10 p.m., USA A guy who wanted to be a cook works to become a White House chef. We hope he realizes the chefs often change with the administration.
Swamp'd!, 8 p.m., Animal Planet Crabs infest the lake and eat everyone's bait, so a customer suggests switching to onions to catch catfish. We say do a crossover with the Deadliest Catch guys and clear out that lake.
Vegas, 9 p.m., CBS Any episode with Michael Ironside automatically becomes the best episode of any show, ever. Try to remember that, Michael Chiklis.
Dead Files Revisited, 10 p.m., Travel Amy told a West Virginia family to get rid of a male entity that collects the dead. If they were living in a mortuary, that would probably be difficult.
Al Madrigal: Why Is the Rabbit Crying?, 11 p.m., Comedy The guy from The Daily Show talks about a lot of strange characters he's known, Jonathan Winters-style. Probably with even more swearing, though.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org