On TV this week
Hart of Dixie, 9 p.m., CW Wade pulls a Hangover and wakes up with a stranger and memory loss after a night of partying. Just be sure to check on the roof.
Bethenny Ever After, 10 p.m., Bravo It's Bethenny's birthday during a vacation to Los Cabos. Boy, she sure does work hard on this show.
Smash, 10 p.m., NBC Katharine McPhee spends a lot of time with Uma Thurman, who may be undermining her at every turn. On the show, we mean.
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., SyFy A new Ash will be chosen via a traditional "stag hunt," during which a Light Fae named Sabine is hunted. So, lots of safety orange and Fae calls.
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC Eliminated contestants come back to vie for finalist positions with a four-part challenge. Four parts? We'd rather stay eliminated.
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo Heather wants to go to Hollywood, Alexis wants to be a TV host and Gretchen wants to perform with the Pussycat Dolls. You all do realize you're on a TV show now, right?
SERIES PREMIERE The L.A. Complex, 9 p.m., CW Six Canadians (including Jewel Staite, Firefly geeks will want to know) move to L.A. and live in a motel to try to achieve individual stardom. You all do realize you're on a TV show now, right?
SERIES PREMIERE The White Room Challenge, 9 p.m., HGTV David Bromstad gives up on Color Splash for this show featuring designers trying to make the best white room they can conjure up. We can hear the arguments of ecru, eggshell and linen already.
Best Friends Forever, 8:30 p.m., NBC Jessica gets Facebook-stalked by an old crush and decides to go out with the guy. Because that kind of situation never goes south.
Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, 9:30 p.m., ABC James Van Der Beek is excited to be cast in a body-swap movie. He is then disappointed to realize it's not with Dawson Leery.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10 p.m., NBC The police are flummoxed by an intense neighborhood watch presence in an area plagued by rapes. It's a bit soon for vigilante storylines, NBC.
SERIES PREMIERE Total Blackout, 10 p.m., SyFy Jaleel White hosts this adaptation of the foreign game show about people dealing with their worst fears while being immersed in total darkness. Fears of Steve Urkel won't be a problem, then.
2012 NFL Draft, 8 p.m., ESPN It just may be possible — and we're just spitballing here — that the Indianapolis Colts may pick Stanford's Andrew Luck. Call it a hunch.
SERIES PREMIERE Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding, 9 p.m., Bravo The Real Housewives of Atlanta alumna Kim Zolciak gets ready to marry Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann. NeNe Leakes is no doubt front-row center for this one.
Parks and Recreation, 9:30 p.m., NBC Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd face off in a debate — over who's the funniest sitcom actor of all time, surely.
SERIES PREMIERE The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet, 11 p.m., Lifetime The photographer and former actress kicks off her new Demi Moore-bankrolled show with guests Jane Fonda, Gwyneth Paltrow, Zoe Saldana and Sarah Silverman. Every show will no doubt be this A-list.
SERIES PREMIERE Whale Wars: Viking Shores, 9 p.m., Animal Planet The Sea Shepherd faces off against the Faeroe Islands to stop natives who have been whaling for centuries. Because tribes who take part in sustainable whaling as a means to maintain their cultural heritage are the real problem.
Fairly Legal, 9 p.m., USA Ben and Justin fight over the plea bargain for a performance artist who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Wait, the guy lived?
CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS A community is rocked when a dismembered body is spread out over four key locations. As long as they aren't fast-food joints, we don't see what the big deal is.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org