On TV this week
SEASON FINALE The Bad Girls Club, 9 p.m., Oxygen If only the producers of this schlock would take our advice and decide to end the show with the greatest invention of post-apocalyptic man: Thunderdome.
Seized and Sold: The Madoff Auction, 10 p.m., NatGeo A behind-the-scenes look at the auction of all of Bernie Madoff's ill-gotten loot. The good news is that the money at least went to a charity fund for victims of white-collar crime. How much did that $350,000 diamond ring go for, again? Twelve houses and nine college funds?
Wild About Prince Harry, 10 p.m., TLC Remember, there are two princes. This one gets no attention, of course. Nice of TLC to throw him a bone.
SERIES PREMIERE Repo Games, 8 p.m., Spike Two real-life repo men show up to take back debtors' cars, but ask them five questions. If the poor saps get three of them right, their cars gets paid off; if not, then it's bye-bye unaffordable Cadillacs. Something tells us if these folks were smart enough to be able to answer esoteric trivia, they wouldn't be behind on payments to begin with.
SERIES PREMIERE Have Cake Will Travel, 9 p.m., Food Ace of Cakes has been canceled, so Food Network found a female version of him to make more ludicrous confections.
SERIES PREMIERE The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC This series featuring Carson Daly, Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton and Maroon 5's Adam Levine is going to try its best to beat Simon Cowell's The X Factor as the show that killed American Idol. But it's on NBC, so who cares?
Inside the Royal Wedding, 8 p.m., NBC Say, did you know there's a wedding this week? And that it takes a lot of time and effort to plan? Good thing Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira let us know that.
SEASON PREMIERE South Park, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Can you believe it's been 15 years since this show started? It's come quite a way since George Clooney guest-starred as the voice of a dog.
Extreme Royal Collections, 10 p.m., TLC Oh, look, more royal wedding nonsense. This time it's a show about those weirdos who collect royal memorabilia. What, like guillotines and shackles from debtors' prisons?
2011 NFL Draft, 8 p.m., ESPN Because it's looking like players and owners are too greedy to even play next season, who really cares who the Carolina Panthers pick? Finding out who will have the next big shoe endorsement is not compelling television.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC Callie's alive, and her baby is alive. That's good. One of Derek's clinical trial patients dies. That's not.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Son of a Gun, 11 p.m., MTV Lil Wayne's diamond in the rough, 23-year-old Cory Gunz, is apparently a good-enough rapper to warrant a six-part miniseries. You have Nick Cannon to thank for this show. That's a lot of firearms.
The Royal Wedding, 3 a.m., BBC America You're either gonna stay up very late or get up very early to watch this coverage of the big day. Or you can be a normal person and wait until it's repeated in prime time.
The Royal Wedding: Modern Majesty, 8 p.m., CBS Of course, Katie Couric will be offering just the highlights, which is more America's style, anyway.
SEASON PREMIERE Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel Zak, Nick and Aaron are back trying to find proof of the paranormal. So far, nothing yet. Even the Ghostbusters got kicked off campus long before this.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org