On TV this week
MLB Baseball, 2 p.m., ESPN2 It's Opening Day, so you know what that means: seven straight months of hating the Boston Red Sox. Start today, when the Rays visit Fenway.
Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC Scott Bakula leaps into the storyline as Chuck's dad, just in time for his son to get a job with Chevy Chase. Well some guy played by Chevy Chase.
SERIES PREMIERE Surviving Suburbia, 9:30 p.m., ABC These shows never seem to consider that if life is so stressful in suburbia, why not just live in town and fight with vandals and homeless people like the rest of us?
Nova, 8 p.m., PBS Readers of a certain age will remember when Nova started following seven doctors as they started their training at Harvard Medical School. Let's see what they've been up to, eh?
The Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo Bethenny's everywhere: At Jill's house to see the redesign, getting Jill to take on a new tennis partner, getting Alex to help her with a SkinnyGirl logo ... boy, it's a good thing everyone likes Bethenny!
Without a Trace, 10 p.m., CBS A Russian matchmaker disappears, probably for muscling in on Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. She don't take no lip, comrade.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW Clay Aiken and last season's winner McKey show up to make the girls feel better — probably by pointing out to the contestants that at least they won't be like this pair. Plus, the commercial shoot!
CSI: NY, 10 p.m., CBS Katharine McPhee shows up as Stella begins to sense deja vu. Was the American Idol results show tonight or tomorrow?
SERIES PREMIERE The Unusuals, 10 p.m., ABC More screwed up cops. It's enough to make you afraid to call 911.
SERIES PREMIERE Parks and Recreation, 8:30 p.m., NBC Like The Office, but at a government bureau. And with Amy Poehler.
SERIES PREMIERE Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, 10 p.m., Comedy Because if there was one thing we really needed on TV, it was a parody of sword-and-sorcery flicks. Also, another Short Circuit sequel.
SERIES PREMIERE Southland, 10 p.m., NBC Yet another cop show with a vet training a rookie. Boy, we bet there's some fresh material there, all right.
SERIES PREMIERE Harper's Island, 10 p.m., CBS A 13-part murder mystery as a killer stalks guests at an island wedding. Check the room service bill, because it may be the father of the bride.
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS Did Hilary Duff kill the ghost who's talking to Melinda this week? No, she only does that to musical careers.
Friday Night Lights, 9 p.m., NBC Believe it or not, kids, the decisions you make right after high school really don't affect how your life turns out as much as TV wants you to think it does. Well, unless you decide to stay in backwater Texas instead of moving away.
Mistresses, 9 p.m., BBC America We were wrong, this show is much better than Desperate Housewives.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com