On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE The Lying Game, 9 p.m., ABC Family Pretty Little Liars author Sara Shepard brings us this series about twins who were separated at birth and lived divergent lives, with one being spoiled and the other forced into foster homes. What's to stop the poor one from killing the rich one and assuming her identity?
Deadly Sibling Rivalry, 9 p.m., Lifetime And then there's a Lifetime movie about twins who are separated by a car crash that leaves one in a coma, pushing the other one to act like her sister — but not really in a healthy way.
Gloria: In Her Own Words, 9 p.m., HBO A documentary about Gloria Steinem, the feminist activist and journalist who pretty much made it possible for women to be the subjects of documentaries.
SERIES PREMIERE Most Eligible Dallas, 10 p.m., Bravo Yet one more Texas reality show, this time about Dallas yuppies who live a true-life soap opera. At least, that's what Andy Cohen wants you to think.
SEASON PREMIERE Hair Battle Spectacular, 10 p.m., Oxygen America's Next Top Model Cycle 3 winner Eva Pigford hosts another season of this stylist competition. See, ANTM winners do go on to do something.
SEASON FINALE MasterChef, 8 p.m., Fox Who gets the money and the cookbook? As Gordon Ramsay would say, who the %&@! cares?
SEASON FINALE The Nine Lives of Chloe King, 9 p.m., ABC Family Chloe's dad emails and says he needs to see her. But not so much that he'd actually pick up the phone and call.
SEASON PREMIERE Downsized, 9 p.m., WEtv The Bruce family is almost off food stamps and Todd wants to buy a house, but probably can't. Just like we want to watch TV shows that don't remind us how depressing real life is, but probably can't.
SEASON FINALE HawthoRNe, 10 p.m., TNT Tom has to operate on a close friend. We thought doctors weren't allowed to do that.
Bedbug Apocalypse, 8 p.m., Animal Planet A discussion about the state of last year's bedbug explosion across the country. You think that's news? Wait until fleas start carrying the plague again.
You Don't Know Dixie, 9 p.m., History A special about how the South shaped American history, starring Trace Adkins and Jeff Foxworthy. They should really get some rappers who claim the Dirty South if they want to get the whole story.
SERIES PREMIERE Ton of Cash, 9 p.m., VH1 A game show hosted by Dhani Jones about 14 unemployed, indebted contestants who must carry $1 million in cash from L.A. to Las Vegas without losing any of it. Or what? They put you in game show jail?
MINISERIES PREMIERE The Hour, 10 p.m., BBC America A six-parter about members of the 1950s BBC newsroom and all the drama that went on there. You know, like missing tea time and whatnot.
SEASON PREMIERE Outrageous Kid Parties, 10 p.m., TLC More spoiled runts who should celebrate their birthdays by watching videos of children starving to death in Somalia instead of getting mini-circuses and pony rides. Enjoy your cake.
Burn Notice, 9 p.m., USA Jesse and Fiona work a surveillance job for a pharmaceutical company. If they really want to learn something eye-opening, they should do surveillance on the ledger to see how much profit the drug companies rake in.
The 2011 VH1 Do Something Awards, 9 p.m., VH1 Jane Lynch presents awards to children who excel at community service. Watch out, kids: If you want to go into politics someday, your opponent will use your community organization against you.
SEASON PREMIERE Beyond Scared Straight, 10 p.m., A&E Enjoy 90 minutes of kids who are the polar opposites of the kids from the Do Something Awards. Instead, these kids are presented with a healthy dose of fear of incarceration.
Suits, 10 p.m., USA Harvey faces a challenge from a lawyer from Boston who has never lost a case (because he fights dirty). Wait, we thought all lawyers fought dirty.
Flashpoint, 8 p.m., CBS Show creator Mark Ellis guest stars as a possible suspect in a bombing. Wow, those network cutbacks are really affecting the casting.
SERIES PREMIERE Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet We continue our march toward every single profession getting their own reality show by following a Las Vegas business that builds custom aquariums. Hmm ... wonder if the business partners (who are brothers-in-law) get along?
Torchwood: Miracle Day, 10 p.m., Starz The history of the miracle is explored, but since people have died throughout history, we'd be surprised if this has happened before.
Strike Back, 10 p.m., Cinemax Scott and Stonebridge race terrorists looking for a scientist who knows about missing weapons of mass destruction. His name isn't Doc Brown by any chance, is it?
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org