On TV this week
2013 U.S. Open Tennis, 1 p.m., ESPN2 Two weeks of grunting, groaning, slipping, sliding and swearing begins today. And that's just trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch to watch it.
SEASON FINALE Longmire, 10 p.m., A&E Walt and Henry have to deal with what happened in Denver when Detective Fales shows up with warrants. Charles S. Dutton never just comes over for a visit anymore.
SEASON FINALE Below Deck, 10 p.m., Bravo The crew is ready to ditch the boat as the last charter begins. You can eat from a buffet for just so long before you'd be fine making do with a bowl of cereal.
SERIES PREMIERE Olbermann, 11 p.m., ESPN2 Keith Olbermann is back on ESPN for the first time since 1997 with a sports talk show. First topic: Olbermann should be lucky he didn't get assigned to the Ocho.
SEASON FINALE Twisted, 9 p.m., ABC Family Lacey has to choose between Danny and the popular kids. Think very carefully about this, then dump all of them, take your GED, fill out your college application and move away forever.
The March, 9 p.m., PBS (check local listings) Julian Bond, Andrew Young, Harry Belafonte and Oprah Winfrey are among the people interviewed for this documentary for the 50th anniversary of the march on Washington. Organizers and marchers recount the events leading up to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.
Suits, 10 p.m., USA Harvey and Stephen can't agree how to work on Ava's case, so Harvey just asks Jessica for help. What does Ava think of all that?
Property Envy, 11 p.m., Bravo Three ultraluxe properties in the Hamptons are reviewed. The bunker on the beach seems worth the money.
SEASON FINALE BBQ Crawl, 8 p.m., Travel Danielle has four days to win over Missouri folks, but fires and power outages plague her cook-off. That's what wood-burning drum cookers are for.
SEASON FINALE Top Shot All-Stars, 10 p.m., History The contestants must go through a mini bootcamp with an AK-47 to get to the final challenge. Watch your trigger fingers on the barbed wire.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo Actress Mindy Kaling precedes the cast of Yo Gabba Gabba! for tonight's challenges. There will be a lot of people singing Party In My Tummy during this episode.
SEASON PREMIERE Tough Love: Co-Ed, 10 p.m., VH1 This time around, dating expert Steve Ward opens his show to men and women. Somebody got hold of the treatment for this season of America's Next Top Model, didn't they?
College Football, 6 p.m., ESPN Another season of the NCAA making billions of young men clad in body armor doing irreparable harm to themselves for no pay begins. Tonight's game: the North Carolina Tar Heels in Columbia, S.C., to fight the South Carolina Gamecocks.
SEASON FINALE Motive, 8 p.m., ABC Someone killed a secretary, so Flynn and Vega investigate. What they find out is that secretaries prefer to be called executive assistants.
Age of Dinosaurs, 9 p.m., Syfy Just now recovering from a tornado filled with sharks, L.A. suffers from genetically re-engineered dinosaurs escaping from a museum and wreaking havoc on Hollywood. Two words: Ronny Cox. Two more: Treat Williams.
SEASON FINALE Sanya's Glam & Gold, 10 p.m., WEtv Sanya is in a lot of pain after toe surgery. Watching Yollie return to Austin isn't helping.
America's Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton shows up to highlight the fact he has a skinny body and a giant head like every other TV personality. Then he makes them act like fashion correspondents, which probably involves them drawing obscene body parts on photos of stars.
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel The gang investigates an abandoned hospital where there are reports of lights turning on and off and mysterious cold spots. Guys, that's just the air conditioning.
SEASON FINALE Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery Do you think the guys got rich off panning for gold in South America? Well, they're still on TV to collect paychecks, so we're guessing no.
Continuum, 10 p.m., Syfy Kiera has to save Alec to ensure she can get home alive. He must have the only iPhone with Google Maps on it.
— Joshua Gillin [email protected]