On TV this week
Sugarland: Live on the Inside, 8 p.m., ABC In case you didn't realize that this duo has a new album and DVD coming out Tuesday, you will after watching this concert from Lexington, Ky.
SERIES PREMIERE Clash of the Gods, 10 p.m., History Did you ever know the backstory of Zeus and the other Greek gods and goddesses? This show will examine them one at a time, like those old Time Life books. And apparently Z sure didn't get along with his dad.
Nurse Jackie, 10:30 p.m., Showtime Zoey wonders whether Jackie is really taking care of a patient who has been readmitted. Oh, like doctors and nurses blame each other for that stuff; we all know patients simply don't follow orders.
SEASON PREMIERE Real Chance of Love 2: Back in the Saddle, 8 p.m., VH1 We want to wash our hands after just typing this.
10 Things I Hate About You, 8 p.m., ABC Family Kat joins a shop class to turn her car into a biodiesel vehicle. She is slapped with a lawsuit from the oil lobby halfway through the episode, and bankrupted by the ensuing legal battle.
The Colony, 10 p.m., Discovery That hot shower doesn't seem so nice when a pack of marauders come to the warehouse and the place isn't defended. Who said everyone had to take a shower at once?
SERIES PREMIERE Addicted to Beauty, 11 p.m., Oxygen A plastic surgery office adds a spa to the practice. We can't wait to see all the surgery-addicted rich-raff that comes through this door.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo The burger challenge awaits; Do yourselves a favor and try making one with just salt and pepper. And maybe a little Worcestershire sauce.
SERIES PREMIERE How'd You Get So Rich, 10 p.m., TV Land It's like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, but with Joan Rivers as the host. Shouldn't she start with a tour of her own house?
SERIES PREMIERE Make My Day, 10:30 p.m., TV LAND Cameras follow unknowing participants around for a day to chronicle their lives. Our episode of sitting and staring at a computer screen will be the season finale.
SEASON PREMIERE Skins, 9 p.m., BBC America Tony Stonem's little sister Effy sure is getting a lot of attention on her first day of school. There must be a lot of people in the Kaya Scodelario fan club.
SEASON FINALE Burn Notice, 8 p.m., USA A mysterious man from Fiona's past resurfaces in Miami. It's the insurance adjuster, and her roof doesn't have hurricane ties!
SERIES PREMIERE Police Women of Broward County, 8 p.m., TLC Some of the women in this reality show are moms, so there's a lot of packing lunches/packing heat jokes going around. We're going to stay away from that, because being a cop in Broward County has to be pretty tough.
SEASON FINALE Surviving Suburbia, 7 p.m., ABC We'll have to check the ratings to see if this show actually did.
SEASON FINALE The Goode Family, 8:30 p.m., ABC We'll have to check the ratings to see if this show actually was.
SEASON PREMIERE Monk, 9 p.m., USA The eighth and final season opens with Elizabeth Perkins acting as the grown-up version of Monk's favorite child star. Hopefully she doesn't meet the same fate as Michael Jackson. What, too soon?
SEASON PREMIERE Psych, 10 p.m., USA Here's a novel concept: Because the show is shot in British Columbia, they actually have a show set in British Columbia. That must mean they're moving the set to Southern California.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org