On TV this week
Summer Olympics, 8 p.m., NBC It's time for the men's gymnastics finals, which will surprisingly be won by Gabby Douglas.
SEASON FINALE Miss Advised, 10 p.m., Bravo Julia runs into a math teacher she really likes. You know that only leads to multiplication.
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, 10 p.m., Food Guy Fieri tries the food in Oahu, which must be very difficult work. Think of all the Hawaiian rolls he has to eat!
Perception, 10 p.m., TNT So was it the cult he was in or the drugs he was taking that killed this week's victim? Both may have caused the voices he was hearing in his head.
SERIES PREMIERE Shipping Wars, 9 p.m., A&E Again with a show comparing relatively menial tasks like shipping packages to an intense fight for survival. When A&E starts showing us Soldier Wars, we'll get over the hyperbole.
American Gypsies, 9 p.m., NatGeo The Johns brothers go to Florida, which in TV world means South Beach, because TV thinks that's the only part of Florida that truly exists.
SEASON PREMIERE Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Miami Dolphins, 10 p.m., HBO This series didn't run last year because A) there was a lockout, and B) the Bucs told HBO they didn't want to do it. That's why you get the Fish this season.
Summer Olympics, 8 p.m., NBC The final in beach volleyball is worth watching no matter who's in it, but 200- and 400-meter hurdles are astonishing to watch, too. We can't even step over the footstool to get to the couch.
SEASON FINALE Dallas, 9 p.m., TNT Some dirty secrets in the Ewing clan come out in the open. And here we thought this family was always very honest with one another.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo Olympic champion figure skater Brian Boitano is a guest judge tonight, forever answering the infamous South Park song's question.
SERIES PREMIERE Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, 10 p.m., TLC Alana Thompson from Toddlers & Tiaras gets Her. Own. Show. In other news, the dead walk the Earth in search of human flesh.
SERIES PREMIERE Go On, 11 p.m., NBC Matthew Perry's new show about a sports talk radio host going back to work after his wife dies gets a one-episode preview. You know, in case the Olympics were too inspirational for you.
Summer Olympics, 8 p.m., NBC Try to watch Usain Bolt beat his own world record in the 200-meter final, if your eyes can focus that fast.
Martian Mega Rover, 10 p.m., NatGeo Want to see how they made the Curiosity rover? Check it out, but don't ask how much it cost.
Cajun Justice, 10 p.m., A&E Not one but three episodes of the series are on tonight. There's a lot of justice to go around.
SERIES PREMIERE Totally Biased With W. Kamau Bell, 11 p.m., FX Chris Rock produces this comedic commentary featuring the standup comedian. Going up against The Daily Show is no accident.
NFL Preseason Football, 7:30 p.m., CBS The Buccaneers head to Miami to play the Dolphins in a meaningless exhibition game that will probably be one of the few times we'll get to see the Bucs on the air while playing in Florida.
Summer Olympics, 8 p.m., NBC Track and field relays are tonight, so get ready to pick the runner you want to blame.
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC One entrepreneur who previously won but rejected an offer gets another chance. If the founder of Samuel Adams wants to advise you on Wine in a Cup, you'd best heed it.
Chasing UFOs, 10 p.m., NatGeo James, Ben and Erin go to Brazil to investigate sightings, instantly tripling the show's travel budget.
3 Days to Open With Bobby Flay, 10 p.m., Food How can a Chicago sausage stand cost six figures? There's proof right there these people don't know what they're doing.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org