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On TV this week, Dec. 9-13

The best thing about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is that it always ends up looking like tryouts for Jem and the Holograms.

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The best thing about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is that it always ends up looking like tryouts for Jem and the Holograms.

On TV this week

MONDAY

Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town, 8 p.m., ABC This animated holiday special featuring Fred Astaire is still sidestepping the religious angle of its subject matter 43 years later. Good thing those Kringles taught Santa how to maximize assembly-line efficiency so he could make enough toys for every kid in the world.

The Great Christmas Light Fight, 9 p.m., ABC Four families have three weeks (airing for the next three Mondays) to decorate their house in a fashion that most celebrates the Christmas spirit. If that really is the aim, any homeowner who opens a homeless shelter with a soup kitchen paid for with their own money should be the big winner.

SEASON PREMIERE The Sing-Off, 9 p.m., NBC Jewel Kilcher joins the judges panel this year as Nick Lachey introduces more groups not good enough for American Idol or The Voice. And why is a solo artist on the panel, anyway? If it's to judge groups, get Boyz II Men or the Backstreet Boys in there!

Six by Sondheim, 9 p.m., HBO A tribute to Broadway's Stephen Sondheim with Jeremy Jordan, Darren Criss, America Ferrera, Jackie Hoffman and Laura Osnes performing six of his songs. You should honor any man who can make a song with a title like Send in the Clowns soulful and heartfelt.

TUESDAY

American Country Awards, 8 p.m., Fox Trace Adkins is hosting again, but this year is joined by Danica Patrick, who obviously knows tons about country music. Well, no doubt she's familiar with the night's performers, Sheryl Crow, Darius Rucker and Florida Georgia Line.

The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC The contestants have to take a quiz about obesity in the workplace. We'd answer the questions, but we're too busy checking how hard it would be to roll our office chair to the break room to microwave this buttered popcorn.

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, 10 p.m., CBS The annual holiday tradition of mostly naked models strutting to the likes of A Great Big World and Taylor Swift are just the sort of thing to shake off the shopping-season fog that sets in right about now. Where were we on our list? Right, lingerie!

SEASON FINALE Sons of Anarchy, 10 p.m., FX Jax has pretty much had it with everyone, so he hops in Gipsy Danger and cleans house. Yeah, we joked about Pacific Rim before, but we just saw it in 3D Blu-Ray and it is AWESOME.

WEDNESDAY

Melissa & Joey, 8 p.m., ABC Family Jaime Pressly plays Melissa's sister, home for the holidays on a furlough from the lockup. Because if the holidays are about one thing, it's about that irritating sibling finding new and creative ways to complicate your life.

Top Chef, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs have to make dishes that remind them of home in the holiday-themed episode. How would they know if it was really from your childhood? You could make up a story about grandma cooking whale blubber on Kwanzaa and the judges couldn't prove you were lying.

Kelly Clarkson's Cautionary Christmas Music Tale, 10 p.m., NBC A married and pregnant Kelly Clarkson stars in a ripoff of A Christmas Carol. The moral of the story is to ignore all the haters calling you fat and one day you'll be skinny, married, pregnant and have a Christmas album. Pretty good hustle, Kelly.

SERIES PREMIERE Rodeo Girls, 11 p.m., A&E A reality show about five female barrel racers working the rodeo circuit. If you don't know what barrel racing is, imagine NASCAR if it involved more than left turns and featured a 1-horsepower engine.

THURSDAY

The Price Is Right, 11 a.m., CBS Drew Carey welcomes Bob Barker back to celebrate his 90th birthday. That's no guarantee the day will end without a harassment lawsuit, though, will it, Bob?

The Millionaire Matchmaker, 9 p.m., Bravo This episode features a friend of Kim Kardashian. I can't even finish summarizing what it's about after that.

Project Runway All Stars, 9 p..m, Lifetime The designers go to QVC headquarters in Pennsylvania. All Tampa Bay residents should think twice about watching, in order to support the hometown HSN.

The Michael J. Fox Show, 9:30 p.m., NBC Mike has to work Christmas Eve, ruining his plan to exchange gifts with Annie. Maybe he should plan on doing it Christmas morning, like a normal person would do (send angry emails disputing this claim to tbteditors@tampabay.com).

FRIDAY

Styled to Rock, 8 p.m., Bravo The designers don't get any input from the mentors while trying to make dress designs for Khloe Kardashian. That is really not a vote of confidence for Khloe's rank in the D-list pecking order.

SEASON PREMIERE Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet Interpol is after Sea Shepherd leader Paul Watson, so the group goes looking for direction. If you're out attempting to disrupt whaling, wouldn't having Interpol on your case only bolster your reputation?

Another Day, Another Time: Celebrating the Music of Inside Llewyn Davis, 10 p.m., Showtime The highlights of a benefit concert for the National Recording Preservation Foundation back in September. Joan Baez, Patti Smith, Jack White and Marcus Mumford are among the performers. We hope they save the master tapes from this one.

The Dead Files, 10 p.m., Travel The show heads to Williamsport, Pa., to examine rumors that a house in the town is the source of demonic happenings. Evil doings in Williamsport? We thought that only happened at the offices organizing the annual Little League World Series.

— Joshua Gillin jgillin@tampabay.com

On TV this week, Dec. 9-13 12/05/13 [Last modified: Sunday, December 8, 2013 5:15pm]

    

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