On TV this week
Westminster Dog Show, 8 p.m., USA It's time to once again become an expert on what makes an ideal corgi or Portuguese water dog. This year there's six new breeds to learn obscure trivia about: the American English coonhound, Cesky terrier, Entlebucher mountain dog, Finnish Lapphund, Norwegian Lundehund and Xoloitzcuintli. We can't even say that last one.
BET Honors 2012, 9 p.m., BET Honorees this year are Maya Angelou, Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey, Spike Lee, the Tuskegee Airmen, and college track and field coach Beverly Kearney. Sad to think those pilots were also honored this year with that silly action flick Red Tails.
America's Money Class With Suze Orman, 9 p.m., OWN Suze's final lesson includes preparing your finances for death and when you want to declare bankruptcy. Judging by the most recent foreclosure numbers, that second one is getting asked a lot.
Castle, 10 p.m., ABC Jennifer Beals, whom you may remember from The L Word or Flashdance, depending on how old you are, arrives as a CIA agent trying to find an international killer. Good thing she doesn't have a history with Castle. Wait …
SEASON PREMIERE Cougar Town, 8:30 p.m., ABC Grayson calls Jules predictable, which really annoys her. At least he didn't call her typecast.
SEASON PREMIERE Top Gear, 9 p.m., History Adam Ferrara, Tanner Foust and Rutledge Wood are back to drive lots of cars you can't even afford to look at.
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, 9 p.m., WE Joan wants to prove she can ride, shoot and fish with the best of them to prepare for a vacation in Wyoming. She's already got the leathery, sun-baked face part down pat.
SEASON PREMIERE Top Shot, 10 p.m., History Another season of the show that seems to think archery, pistol shooting and long gun competitors all have the equal amount of skill in all disciplines. Joan River should ask them for advice.
SEASON PREMIERE Survivor: One World, 8 p.m., CBS We've done this 23 times prior to this, so we think we know the drill by now. Oh, and this time it's boys vs. girls.
Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC Phil and Claire celebrate selling a house to Cameron and Mitchell's friends, so get ready for an entire episode of booze-fueled, uncomfortable gay jokes.
Collision Course, 10 p.m., Discovery That's right, it's a whole show about things going awry, like planes crashing at air shows, alligators turning on their wrestlers and high-speed chases that end in crashes. We pretend to be horrified, but we're still watching.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 10 p.m., CBS Russell has to get help from a colleague he once fired. We're sure she's not still holding a grudge.
Parks and Recreation, 8:30 p.m., NBC Louis C.K. plays Leslie's old boyfriend, which means this episode is chock full of positivity and life-enriching accomplishment.
The Mentalist, 10 p.m., CBS Morena Baccarin won't be needed on ABC's canceled V anymore, so she's back as killer Erica Flynn. She might want to play someone nice in her next role.
Archer, 10 p.m., FX Archer and Lana have to help get Malory out of hot water after she's caught fooling around with the prime minister of Italy. We thought that's just how they did things on the boot.
24 Hour Catwalk, 10 p.m., Lifetime The designers have to turn something totally not sexy into something hot. Just ask Michelle Rodriguez how she did it.
The 43rd NAACP Image Awards, 8 p.m., NBC Call us crazy, but we think The Help may win something tonight. It's just a hunch.
SEASON FINALE The Life & Times of Tim. 9 p.m., HBO Tim gets to be the "token white boy," courtesy of his boss. That's not really the kind of promotion we'd be looking for.
Merlin, 10 p.m., Syfy Merlin finds out court physician Gaius has been kidnapped as part of Morgana's latest devious plan. Just in time for flu season, too.
I Shouldn't Be Alive, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Some doofus wants to explore Mayan ruins by himself and ends up stranded out in the jungle all alone. Rule of thumb: If you're one giant snake away from never being seen again, don't go.
— Joshua Gillin [email protected]