On TV this week
Hall of Game, 7 p.m., Cartoon Shaquille O'Neal hosts a sports awards show featuring musical performances by Flo Rida and Hot Chelle Rae. This is Cartoon Network, right?
SEASON PREMIERE Bethenny Ever After, 9 p.m., Bravo A woman who's had so much plastic surgery she looks like Gizmo the Mogwai with breast implants is back to tell you how to run a business and be a parent. Because she gets good ratings. Pray for America.
Clinton: American Experience, 9 p.m., PBS (check local times) A two-part history of President Bill Clinton, which will either remind you of better times or convince you things can't get any worse, depending on your voter registration.
Smash, 10 p.m., NBC Karen heads home to Iowa and starts rethinking her life. We always do that when we drive through Iowa, ourselves. As in, thank goodness we don't live in Iowa (Sincerely, the guy from Nebraska).
Glee, 8 p.m., Fox The guest stars are Jeff Goldblum and … NeNe Leakes? No wonder the critics think Smash is better than this show.
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo One of the women throws a party, leading to jealousy among the other women. This has been Real Housewives plot synopsis No. 4a. Thank you for your time.
Tabatha Takes Over, 10 p.m., Bravo Tabatha is back in a salon, working on the owner's business and private life. Glad to see this experiment in consulting for other businesses besides salons is working out so well.
White Collar, 10 p.m., USA A Yankees fan wants Neal to steal something from Yankee Stadium. It's probably to get back at the concessions stands, which have been stealing from fans for years.
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox It's the last performance before the real finalists are chosen. We've got big money on the one with a whole lot of heart and talent and not much else.
Sex for Sale: American Escort, 9 p.m., NatGeo Mariana van Zeller examines the escort industry, which adheres to the laws of supply and demand, just like any other business. And lately, business has been booming. So to speak.
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC Robin Roberts does the obligatory Oscar preview, recounting some nominees' lives without actually talking to them. We thought we had E! True Hollywood Story for that.
SEASON FINALE Royal Pains, 10 p.m., USA Hank treats three boys, which helps him deal with Jack's death. Now he's surely got something entirely different to be angry about.
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox Oh, good, the one with a whole lot of heart and talent and not much else made it.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC Another episode with Richard and Adele making us feel like we'd rather walk blindfolded into traffic than be diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Also: Explosion in a coffee shop. Time to switch to decaf.
The Finder, 9 p.m., Fox The folks from Bones show up to find evidence of aliens. You mean Michael Clarke Duncan isn't it? Dude is like 15 feet tall!
Unsupervised, 10:30 p.m., FX An outbreak of head lice threatens to cancel the school dance. When did these guys start going to my high school?
Kitchen Nightmares, 8 p.m., Fox Gordon Ramsay has to help a Baltimore restaurant with an image problem, because the owner trademarked the term "hon." For those who've never been to Charm City, that'd be like someone in Pittsburgh trademarking "yunz," or an Atlantan trademarking "y'all."
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC Some guy pitches a watch that provides health benefits. Does it dispense heart medication or something?
SEASON FINALE Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery The Big Nugget mine needs to hit a vein if it's going to stay open. Well, yeah, that's usually how mines work, we hear.
Spartacus: Vengeance, 10 p.m., Starz Spartacus wants to free Crixus, but a gladiator is in the way. This should not be a problem.
— Joshua Gillin [email protected]