On TV this week
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family Amy has the hots for her mom's ex-boyfriend's son. That can't possibly be any more awkward than having Molly Ringwald be your mom.
How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m., CBS Barney may give up suits to land a hot bartender, resulting in a musical number. Because ... bartenders sing a lot?
Make It or Break It, 9 p.m., ABC Family The girls attempt to devise a plan to get Marty fired, which is sooo not cool in this economy. Karma will get you, you rotten kids.
SEASON PREMIERE American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox Folks, allow us to introduce you to new judge Ellen DeGeneres, who, as far as we know, has had absolutely no experience in the recording industry. Makes perfect sense.
Better Off Ted, 8:30 p.m., ABC A typo in a memo orders employees to "now engage in offensive language.'' Where did they get that, the tbt* newsroom?
The Forgotten, 10 p.m., ABC A man who signed up for medical trials is found dead in a seepage pit. So much for our plan to pay off the credit cards from Christmas.
The Middle, 8:30 p.m., ABC Mike finds a dinosaur bone in the quarry and ends up unemployed as scientists shut down the area to study it. Great, more subliminal messages making the blue-collar workers of the world mistrust science.
Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m., ABC We think it's hilarious a woman named Busy Philipps plays a character (Laurie) who tries to bait a friend into "diversion sex." Busy, indeed.
SEASON PREMIERE High School Reunion, 10 p.m., TV Land Former classmates from Las Vegas' Chaparral High School class of 1989 gather for their 20th reunion on the Hawaiian island of Kauai, but a rival high school crashes the party. These people apparently are stuck in a time warp where they still care about what happened in high school.
SEASON PREMIERE Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force, 10 a.m., A&E Trenton cops chase a murder suspect across four states over several days. Forget that CSI stuff.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC Addison comes back to Seattle to help Sloane's pregnant daughter in one of those annoying crossover episodes ...
Private Practice, 10 p.m., ABC ... Because then we have no idea what happens, because we don't watch this show and won't fall prey to Shonda Rhimes' evil scheme.
SERIES PREMIERE Archer, 10 p.m., FX H. Jon Benjamin, Jessica Walter and Aisha Tyler lend their voices to a spy spoof aimed squarely at adults, because they don't make cartoons for kids anymore.
SEASON PREMIERE Project Runway, 10 p.m., Lifetime It seems L.A. didn't agree with this show after its first season on Lifetime. Good thing they moved back to the Big Apple (and this time with a Tampa guy, Ben Chmura).
Supernanny, 8 p.m., ABC Jo, we appreciate your attempts to bring civility to the chaos of reality TV, but when some 25-year-old layabout sits around her mom's house all day, making her parents raise her kids, you need to bring out the whoopin' stick.
Law & Order, 8 p.m., NBC A journalist is found dead and The Daily Show's Samantha Bee stars as a daytime talk-show host.
SEASON PREMIERE The Singing Bee, 9 p.m., CMT It's like Don't Forget The Lyrics!, but on CMT. And it's back for a second season for everyone who can't find Fox on their cable boxes. — Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org