On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, 8 p.m., ABC Airline pilot Jake Pavelka is so chivalrous, he returned to The Bachelorette to protect Jillian Harris from the cads even though she dropped him like a bad habit. What kind of message will that send the girls trying to get him now?
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family We're back for a dozen more episodes … and Amy and Anne go on vacation. They should have done that during the winter break.
College Football, 8:15 p.m., Fox The really big bowl games continue, with undefeated Boise State and TCU at the Fiesta in Glendale, Ariz. Thank goodness we don't have to watch them play on that awful blue turf.
Conveyor Belt of Love, 10 p.m., ABC Five women have to pick a date from a conveyor belt of 30 guys who have 60 seconds to impress them. Hey, the fast food model is encroaching on every other aspect of our lives, so why not dating?
SEASON PREMIERE The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC The ninth season promises to be the heaviest ever. In the weight sense, not the existential angst sense.
College Football, 8:15 p.m., Fox Georgia Tech battles Iowa in Miami for the Orange Bowl, which means you could drive down to south Florida and watch it if you really need a football fix.
The Good Wife, 10 p.m., CBS A commentator is the target of a wrongful death suit. No, it's not Rush Limbaugh.
I Get That a Lot, 8 p.m., CBS Julie Chen, Snoop Dogg, Rachael Ray, Gene Simmons, Tony Hawk and even the dreaded Paris Hilton pull one over all of us by pretending to be lookalikes while doing mundane tasks. Oohhh, you guys — always making the faceless rabble look stupid. However do you do it?
The 36th Annual People's Choice Awards, 9 p.m., CBS All the celebrity junkies will be watching this after I Get That a Lot. What they don't get: Celebs don't care about people's choice awards.
Nip/Tuck, 10 p.m., FX We're back to see if Christian and Sean finally just hook up and get it over with. Not tonight, of course, but eventually.
College Football, 8:30 p.m., ABC Because I'm a Nebraska alumnus, I hope Alabama pounds Texas into the ground during tonight's BCS National Championship game (sorry, Gators fans). I know, I should be rooting for the Big 12 team, but Texas was one measly second away from playing in the John Deere Tractor Bowl or whatever, so go SEC.
SEASON FINALE The Real Housewives of Orange County, 10 p.m., Bravo Chances are, football-hating spouses will be watching this, which has all the excitement of Alexis taking her kids to church and Tamra talking about visiting Florida. Woo.
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS A ghost spills his guts on a radio show about how he died. What Sirius station is that?
SEASON PREMIERE Shark Tank, 9 p.m., ABC A clue you're not cut out for business: Your salad dressing doesn't sell because the packaging offends people. We're assuming there's a reference about "tossing your salad."
NUMB3RS, 10 p.m., CBS The team investigates the theft of some scratch-off lottery tickets, but then a perpetrator who was a former lottery winner gets killed in a botched robbery. These story lines are so unbelievable: No one actually wins the lottery.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org