On TV this week
MLB Baseball, 8 p.m., ESPN It's the All-Star break, and tonight is the home run derby, which hasn't been the same since the steroid era ended. Boy, hypocrisy sure ruins the fun.
SEASON PREMIERE The Closer, 9 p.m., TNT Brenda and her team move into new, modern digs. They should get a character who explains all the gadgets, then call him Q.
SERIES PREMIERE Rizzoli & Isles, 10 p.m., TNT Angie Harmon gets a new series as a detective working with a medical examiner, played by Sasha Alexander from NCIS, who is her best friend. Lorraine Bracco plays her mom, rounding out the trifecta for women from other shows we all liked and wanted to see again.
MLB Baseball, 8 p.m., Fox Trivia: When was the last time the National League won the All-Star Game? Answer: 1996. That's okay, the NL still plays the purer form of the game, and therefore better.
SEASON PREMIERE White Collar, 9 p.m., USA Peter and Neal have to thwart a master thief knocking off banks. That's a heck of a way to start a sophomore season.
SERIES PREMIERE Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA Piper Perabo stars as a CIA trainee who suddenly has to start working despite not even finishing her schooling. In this economy, that's how you know it's fictional.
Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown, 8 p.m., ABC Lucy signs up for another season of dismal baseball on the Peanuts team. Try setting up an hourlong special detailing where she's going to go; that'll guarantee she joins another team.
Top Chef, 9 p.m., Bravo Finally, an episode where we can joke about people having crabs.
2010 ESPYs, 9 p.m., ESPN Seth Meyers hosts the 18th annual event. LeBron James wins best Benedict Arnold impersonation, hands down.
SEASON PREMIERE Pros vs. Joes, 10 p.m., Spike This episode involves pro football players battling each other in basketball. Where does the "Joes" part come in?
SEASON PREMIERE Psych, 10 p.m., USA You would think if Shawn were psychic, he'd be seeing these crimes before they happen. Maybe that's just us.
The 2010 World Music Awards, 8 p.m., MyNetworkTV An encore telecast of the Monte Carlo event, hosted by Michelle Rodriguez and Hayden Panettiere, who have absolutely nothing to do with music.
SERIES PREMIERE Mary Knows Best, 9 p.m., SyFy A "docu-soap" about a psychic with three kids who have inherited her abilities. Why does one of them doubt mom's powers, then?
Bethenny Getting Married?, 10 p.m., Bravo Bethenny and Jason go on their honeymoon, leading us all to wonder why they still have a show if the wedding is over.
SERIES PREMIERE Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files, 10 p.m., SyFy Spoiler alert: They're all faked.
The Jensen Project, 8 p.m., NBC Patricia Richardson, LeVar Burton and Kellie Martin star as a gang of geniuses out to improve the world. Don't be surprised if this movie becomes a series of its own this fall.
Eureka, 9 p.m., SyFy Carter and his fellow travelers begin to realize the truly terrifying implications of their return to Eureka, such as the fact that they're a SyFy series and not on TNT, or even Spike.
Flashpoint, 10 p.m., CBS The team must figure out how to rescue a young man, a woman and a baby held captive by a carjacker. That's easy: wait 'til he runs out of gas.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org