On TV this week
Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls, 8 p.m., NBC Since we haven't read that anyone died during the making of the show, a food shortage really isn't that tense. Just start boiling that tree bark.
The Crash Reel, 9 p.m., HBO A documentary about snowboarder Kevin Pearce's rehab after an accident that almost killed him, and why he wanted to return. Sponsorships are very enticing.
Deon Cole's Black Box, 9:30 p.m., TBS The Conan O'Brien writer is starting to find his feet. The show was still funnier with W. Kamau Bell. Oh, wait, this is a different show?
SERIES PREMIERE Kris, 11 p.m., Fox Kim Kardashian's mom Kris Jenner talks about celebrities and lifestyle news. Only 75 percent of the show will focus on her daughters.
MLB All-Star Game, 7:30 p.m., Fox Ah, Queens. Now everyone can marvel at how the Mets ignore their own rich heritage in favor of overwrought tributes to the Dodgers and Giants.
SERIES PREMIERE Whose Line Is It Anyway?, 8 p.m., CW Aisha Tyler is the host this season. She looks way better than Drew Carey ever did.
SEASON PREMIERE Covert Affairs, 9 p.m., USA Annie and Augie go looking for moles in the CIA. According to current events, the Moscow airport would be worth checking.
SEASON PREMIERE Suits, 10 p.m., USA Jessica and Harvey are really fighting this season. Could it be he's just angry about Mike and taking it out on her?
SERIES PREMIERE Perfect Score, 9 p.m., CW Arielle Kebbel from The Vampire Diaries made her acting dreams come true by jumping from TV star to dating-show host. She's a strange one, that Arielle.
Futurama, 10 p.m., Comedy Central It's time for another anthology episode, this time aping Saturday morning cartoons. Your kid has no idea what those are, because now all advertisers target them all the time.
SEASON PREMIERE Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, 9 p.m., Lifetime Do we still enjoy guilt-watching rednecks do redneck things so we can identify with and/or feel superior to them? We do? Okay, here's a second season of it.
The 2013 ESPYs, 9 p.m., ESPN Jon Hamm is the host this year. Because Don Draper cares so much about sports.
Camp, 10 p.m., NBC Watching this show leaves us with the impression that studio execs couldn't wait to stuff these people on a bus headed to the country so they could finally go out to eat in peace again. For the summer, at least.
2013 Premios Juventud Awards, 8 p.m., Univision A people's choice awards show for Spanish-speaking celebrities. Online voters choose the Spanish-speaking celebrity winners in categories including film, music, sports, fashion and pop culture.
Hell's Kitchen, 8 p.m., Fox The four finalists have to guess ingredients in dishes using only sight, smell and taste. Um, how else would you guess ingredients? Through infra-red night vision goggles? Ultrasound scans? Ouija boards?
SEASON PREMIERE Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime As a first challenge, the designers must create an outfit from a parachute. Any child of the '80s knows pants are a given.
SEASON FINALE Showville, 10 p.m., AMC Somebody is going to win $10,000 tonight for being most talented. It's the production supervisor who convinced AMC to air this oddity.
Teen Beach Movie, 8 p.m., Disney Teens get in a surfing accident and wake up in a corny '60s-style beach movie. Without the implied casual sex and recreational drug use, though, because this is the Disney Channel.
SERIES PREMIERE Liv and Maddie, 9:45 p.m., Disney If Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zach and Cody had twin babies, it would be this show. That's right, two more girls for the Mouse machine to ruin.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org