On TV this week
American Pickers, 9 p.m., History The boys find a 5-acre automotive graveyard full of useful things going to waste. Naturally, it's in Florida, where useful things are wasted as a matter of course.
Surviving the Cut, 10 p.m., Discovery Something not wasted in Florida are the students at the Air Force Special Operations Dive School. And here we are, uncomfortable when we can't see if there are stingrays on the beach.
SEASON FINALE Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, 10 p.m., ABC We close a season that, if nothing else, has taught us if you're 445 pounds, the trick to losing weight is to push a race car around a track.
The Big C, 10:30 p.m., Showtime Cathy starts pawning her jewelry after Paul loses his job. As if he doesn't feel guilty enough right now.
SEASON FINALE Deadliest Catch, 9 p.m., Discovery Will the Northwestern get revenge on the Time Bandit? Is this the last run of the Cornelia Marie? How many crew members will get arrested in the offseason? And will the behind-the-scenes special after this episode answer any of those questions?
Memphis Beat, 9 p.m., TNT A dead guy's body disappears at his funeral. You know what that means — zombies.
SEASON FINALE Gene Simmons Family Jewels, 10 p.m., A&E Gene and Shannon may or may not make it through the end of this season. You can ask Hulk Hogan how this is probably going to turn out. Awww, we made ourselves sad.
Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA Annie and Joan pretend to be a news team to find out more info in a hostage crisis in Mexico. Because south of the border is the safest place to be a journalist, obviously.
Sons of Guns, 9 p.m., Discovery The crossover you knew had to happen: The American Chopper crew stops by to add chrome and a handlebar to a 1919 machine gun. It's an episode so rednecky, you should be drinking Natty Light just reading this.
Meat America, 9 p.m., History A "meat expert" takes us through learning about longhorns, visiting Chicago's stockyards and the origins of the hot dog. Some things are better not being known.
The E! True Hollywood Story, 10 p.m., E! Snooki tells us what it's like being a guidette and having not one, but TWO books. With any luck, she will also discuss what it's like pretending to be Italian when she's actually an adopted Chilean.
One Man Army, 10 p.m., Discovery Tough guys risk hypothermia and drowning in ice-cold water. D'ya think maybe Snooki could compete in this?
X Games, 7 p.m., ESPN Get ready for 25 hours of skateboarding and motocross on this network, ESPN2 and ABC. We can't wait to see the rally cars crashing in downtown L.A.
Black Tide: Voices From the Gulf, 9 p.m., Animal Planet If you've forgotten so much about the gulf oil spill you're shopping at BP stations again, watch this and feel more anger. Not that it matters, because BP gets money whether you buy gas at its stations or not.
The Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo Rich, shriveled hags whine to Andy Cohen about how awesome they are in merely the first part of the reunion show.
SEASON PREMIERE LA Ink, 10 p.m., TLC It's time to see what Kat Von D has been doing. Besides Sandra Bullock's ex, Jesse James, that is.
SERIES PREMIERE Thundercats, 8 p.m., Cartoon In a "re-imagining of the 1980s half-hour toy commercials, Mumm-Ra threatens Lion-O and his anthropomorphic homeboys on Third Earth. Mind you, re-imagining is the current buzzword for: "We can't come up with anything new, so let's trade on the nostalgia for slick but awful cartoons from the past."
Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet As much as we don't support whaling, we can't help but wonder how filming yourself disabling commercial ships, even if they kill whales, is much different from piracy. Explain it to us, activists.
Paranormal Challenge, 9 p.m., Travel The two teams compete to find ghostly activity in a West Virginia lunatic asylum. How appropriate.
SERIES PREMIERE The Three Chocolatiers, 11 p.m., Food A new show about three women who run a Beverly Hills chocolate shop that's airing at 11 p.m. on Fridays says worlds about the target market. It makes us cry a little bit.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org