On TV this week
SEASON FINALE The Bachelorette, 8 p.m., ABC Jillian has to choose who to crush Jason Mesnick-style as this season draws to a close, convincing us more than ever that viewers are blind to quality.
Great American Road Trip, 8 p.m., NBC The teams go for a hot-air balloon ride in Albuquerque and the meteor crater in Arizona. Are they going to wait for Jeff Bridges to show up? (Let us know if you actually get that one)
Make 'em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, 10 p.m., PBS The six-part series draws to a close by looking at how Americans like to satirize and parody the world around them. We have no idea where they'd get an idea like that.
SERIES PREMIERE More to Love, 9 p.m., Fox We're not going to mince words here: A big, fat man gets to go all Bachelor with 20 big, fat ladies. We could think of a million fat jokes, but we'll wait until it turns out they have the same inane personalities as the rest of reality TV contestants to hate them.
Miami Social, 10 p.m., Bravo Like these people.
Explorer, 10 p.m., NatGeo An examination of the Ark of the Covenant, what it really does and where it really went. If it's not in Egypt and melts the faces of Nazis, we'll be very disappointed.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo The remaining six must cook a fellow contestant's signature dish. If only Ronald McDonald was one of the competitors.
The Philanthropist, 10 p.m., NBC Teddy goes missing in Kashmir after a college pal asks for help rebuilding the water system with aid from India and Pakistan. We would have never guessed that there would be difficulty communicating or lawlessness in that neck of the woods.
Dark Blue, 10 p.m., TNT A drug dealer who is also a lawyer gives the team some trouble, because he knows how to circumvent the rules. He must have worked for the federal government.
Cash Cab, 6 p.m., Discovery The first of 26 new episodes starts tonight, but if you miss it, that's okay; they'll run it as part of the 42 episodes they show daily soon enough.
X Games, 9 p.m., ESPN More athletic contests you can't even begin to take part in kicks off today. You know you'll be watching just to see who does faceplants on the Big Air Rail Jam.
SEASON PREMIERE The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 10 p.m., Bravo Sheree is divorced, Kim wants to launch a line of wigs and now we have Kandi, who is engaged to a guy named AJ. Technically, that means she's not yet a housewife.
Dog Whisperer, 9 p.m., NatGeo Be all high-minded if you like, but we're watching to see the five-legged miniature pinscher. That's how we roll.
Inside, 10 p.m., PBS If you're home watching TV on a Friday night, chances are you're going to jump at the chance to watch how The Lord of the Rings became a stage show. Just sayin'.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com