On TV this week
Switched at Birth, 8 p.m., ABC Family You would think Bay wouldn't have a hard time selling a screening of a movie called Deafenstein. Perhaps the word of mouth was bad.
American Ninja Warrior, 8 p.m., NBC Whenever we see contestants do the Spider Climb, we expect limbs to snap. That must be all the diet soda talking.
The Fosters, 9 p.m., ABC Family Stef and Mike go looking for Jesus at Ana's place. Teri Polo will be looking for all that post-Meet the Parents fame she thought she'd have.
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo Gretchen proposes to Slade on the roof of a skyscraper. Then we all head up to our own roofs to jump off of them.
SERIES PREMIERE Capture, 9 p.m., CW A reality show with a premise eerily similar to The Hunger Games or The Running Man. People will be literally slaughtered in prime time by 2025, for sure.
Covert Affairs, 9 p.m., USA Annie heads to Colombia to try to thwart a terrorist attack. And find a decent cup of coffee. Really, Starbucks? You call this a morning blend?
SERIES PREMIERE The Profit, 10 p.m., CNBC The CEO of Camping World, a store that actually sells RVs, offers businesses a hunk of cash to turn things around in exchange for a cut of the windfall. And perhaps firing the owner of the company.
Perception, 10 p.m., TNT A device that controls tremors isn't working right. Pierce and Donnie spend the episode trying to shake that problem.
VH1 Do Something Awards, 8 p.m., VH1 A few famous people and a few normies are getting awards for making a difference. You know Patrick Dempsey, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, LL Cool J, Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Osbourne, but there's also Daniel Maree, the founder of the Million Hoodies Movement for Trayvon Martin and a few others.
SERIES PREMIERE Best Daym Takeout, 10 p.m., Travel YouTube food critic Daymon Patterson walks the earth in search of good food you can take with you. First up is Chicago, where everything used to either oink or moo.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs must put an Asian spin on an American dish. Hey, everyone likes teriyaki burgers, right?
The Bridge, 10 p.m., FX Something powerful crosses the border from Juarez. Besides the Mexican drug cartels, we mean.
The 15th Annual Young Hollywood Awards, 8 p.m., CW You may have never heard of the actors getting recognized at this awards show, but that's okay — the target audience for the CW has, and that's all the advertisers care about.
SEASON FINALE The Hero, 8 p.m., TNT A winner is chosen tonight, hopefully by having to best The Rock in a wrestling match/punching contest/swordfight. Then it's on to saving helpless civilians the world over!
Our Nixon, 9 p.m., CNN A documentary that uses Richard Nixon's home movies to prove there was a human side to him, after all. When he wasn't plotting to destroy people's lives or bastardize the electoral process, that is.
X Games, 9 p.m., ESPN The latest addition among the dubious sports in this contest is Gymkhana, which involves rally cars racing on an obstacle course. We're hoping for a crash course in learning how destructive that can get.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW Tyra Banks' dramafest has reached 20 cycles, so fresh ideas are hard to come by. This time it'll be a coed competition, though, which is so brilliant we wonder why they didn't do it before.
Magic City, 9 p.m., Starz Ike makes a deal to run the Havana hotels. Somehow we don't think that's the safest bet.
Continuum, 10 p.m., SyFy Somebody tries to shoot Julian but hits Alec's mother instead. Alec is the primary suspect.
Obsessed With the Dress, 10 p.m., WEtv The Winning Crown Boutique in my hometown of Omaha, Neb., is the focus of this new series, which is about a store that sells outfits to young beauty pageant contestants. See? Nebraska's women do so wear more than just sweatshirts and acid-washed jeans.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org