On TV this week
Kung Fu Panda, 7:15 p.m., HBO Since y'all are off today and tbt* is not, we want to unwind with some animated hilarity. Sure, this one is on TV all the time, but it beats more reality shows (see other listings here).
Persons Unknown, 8 p.m., NBC A new, tattooed girl shows up and gets violent in her new surroundings. In our experience, that's what tattooed girls do.
Intervention, 9 p.m., A&E A former Marine starts drinking heavily after being diagnosed with shell shock. Happy Fourth of July weekend, citizens.
Losing It With Jillian, 8 p.m., NBC A family of tall people is neglecting their health after the patriarch has to close his roofing business. On the bright side: He doesn't have to be a roofer anymore. That's really hard work.
SEASON PREMIERE Warehouse 13, 9 p.m., SyFy MacPherson caused an awful big mess before disappearing. Maybe he's hiding out until Jewel Staite's guest appearance this season.
HawthoRNe, 9 p.m., TNT A surgeon may not be able to operate after being injured in a car accident. How many hospital shows are gonna use this storyline?
SERIES PREMIERE Come Dine With Me, 9 p.m., BBC America Yes, it's a reality show in which four strangers take turns hosting each other for dinner parties to see who does it best, winning cash. It has to be British, with a premise like that.
SERIES PREMIERE The Choir, 10 p.m., BBC America A choirmaster recruits singers of wildly varied backgrounds in an attempt to change their lives. His mission: to make them good enough to compete in the World Choir Games in China by year's end. World Choir Games? Really?
Top Chef, 9 p.m., Bravo A couple of weeks back, we said the cheftestants were going to have to compete to make the best baby food for Padma Lakshmi's newborn. We were joking. Top Chef producers were not.
SERIES PREMIERE Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS More reality rats in a televised fishbowl. This time there's a Tampa bartender, so keep an eye out for Annie Whittington in the South Beach-themed house (which is really on a California studio lot).
Rookie Blue, 9 p.m., ABC Andy tries to decide if she should break the rules to protect a domestic abuse victim while everyone else gets ready for a charity fight night. We see a solution right in front of you.
Futurama, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Bender used to be against robosexual marriage, but now he's leading the charge to legalize it. These characters really have grown in the last seven years.
SERIES PREMIERE Nat Geo Amazing!, 7 p.m., NatGeo A doc series showcasing the most unusual or astonishing parts of our world, which apparently includes urban penguins, flying cars and samurai swordsmen. We're still impressed with the envelope-less deposits at our bank's ATM.
Wife Swap, 8 p.m., ABC A family that got spooked about the Mayan 2012 prophecy moved to the middle of nowhere and takes survivalist classes while a California mom thinks her kid will be the next great golfer. The common thread: Neither of them are right.
SEASON PREMIERE Eureka, 9 p.m., SyFy Nothing will get Carter over relationship woes like an unscheduled trip to a dangerous military installation. It's like therapy, but with less discussion and more life-threatening obstacles.
SERIES PREMIERE Haven, 10 p.m., SyFy An FBI agent goes to a small Maine town where the populace has supernatural powers in a new series based on a Stephen King novella. You know, the one about the supernatural stuff in the small Maine town.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org