Switched at Birth, 8 p.m., ABC Family How would things have turned out if Regina told the hospital about the switch right away? The show wouldn't have had to wait so long to do a completely hypothetical alternate-reality episode, that's how.
SERIES PREMIERE Get Out Alive With Bear Grylls, 9 p.m., NBC The Brit survivor leads 10 teams across New Zealand's South Island in a competition of outdoorsy skills. We can't wait for the urine-drinking competition.
Gasland Part II, 9 p.m., HBO Josh Fox follows up his 2010 documentary about how people have gotten sick after fracking wells were drilled near their homes. In case you forgot about how gas companies played off the footage of the guy who could light his tap water on fire.
SERIES PREMIERE God, Guns & Automobiles, 10 p.m., History An auto dealer in a small Missouri town, uh, sells cars to people. Only suits in New York or L.A. could be impressed by this concept.
Extreme Weight Loss, 8 p.m., ABC A 300-pound woman gets a trip to Chile to meet her birth mother in order to spur her weight loss. She wouldn't want to be an embarrassment to mom, after all.
SEASON FINALE Betty White's Off Their Rockers, 8:30 p.m., NBC Ed Asner shows up as a gentleman caller to hit on Betty for a prank. Yeah, for a prank, that's it.
SEASON PREMIERE Storage Wars New York, 9 p.m., A&E Two episodes, alternately about finding fireworks and hearing aids. We don't think those things are mutually exclusive.
SERIES PREMIERE Property Envy, 10 p.m., Bravo A new talk show hosted by Stephen Collins in which people sit around and talk about rich people's houses. As if doing it in your family's own hovel isn't good enough.
SERIES FINALE Family Tools, 8:30 p.m. ABC, Will Designs by Terry and Mr. Jiffy Fix ever be able to coexist? We'll never know, because this show is deader than a sack of doorknobs.
SERIES PREMIERE The Bridge, 10 p.m., FX Diane Kruger and Demian Bichir are detectives who have to work together after two women are killed on the Mexican border. They'd better hurry, before the rest of that fence is completed.
SERIES PREMIERE Camp, 10 p.m., NBC A dramedy about a summer camp set in the Midwest but shot in Australia. That explains all the wallabies and kangaroos.
SEASON FINALE Dig Wars, 10 p.m., Travel A 19th-century Texas fort may hold some treasure, or it may be haunted. This is turning out to be quite the reality show genre mashup.
The Hero, 8 p.m., TNT The contestants have to take a lie-detector test. That could get really embarrassing when producers start asking about who they think will win the show.
SERIES PREMIERE Summer Camp, 8 p.m., USA A reality competition with grown adults pretending to be at summer camp and battling through canoe races and so forth. Break out the mosquito tank and rope-burn contests and we'll watch.
SERIES PREMIERE The Winner Is ..., 9 p.m., NBC Nick Lachey hosts a one-on-one singing competition in which the participants can pick a cash prize if they think they're going to get booted. We hope Nick doesn't perform.
SERIES PREMIERE Hollywood Game Night, 10 p.m., NBC It's summer, so here's a new game show. This one is basically celebrities playing Trivial Pursuit, starting with Matthew Perry and Lisa Kudrow. You'd think David Schwimmer would be the logical choice.
Cult, 8 p.m., CW Nate has to decipher Kellian's manuscript. Siri is absolutely no help in situations like these.
Magic City, 9 p.m., Starz Ike tries to make Sy Berman an offer he can't refuse. That kind of thing usually works in the other direction.
Treehouse Masters, 10 p.m., Animal Planet The only reason we list this one every week is because it's one of the only shows with first-run episodes every Friday. So watch them make a treehouse with a barbecue grill and a dumbwaiter in it. Oh, and a fire pole.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org