On TV this week
The Middleman, 8 p.m., ABC Family Because there aren't enough superhero stories out there, the network has created a new one.
How Life Began, 9 p.m., History This two-hour doc talks about how single-celled organisms turned into Jerry Springer-starring rednecks. This is evolution?
SEASON PREMIERE Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal, 10 p.m., A&E It's like a real-life version of The Sixth Sense, with a medium and a college professor taking the place of Bruce Willis. Plus, we don't think they're dead.
SEASON PREMIERE Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime Nancy has moved the fam to a beach town just south of San Diego. Just to escape Mary-Kate Olsen?
SERIES PREMIERE Secret Diary of a Call Girl, 10:30 p.m., Showtime This is your best chance for "adult comedy" (that means nudity) since David Duchovny's Californication.
AFI's 10 Top 10, 8 p.m., CBS That 100-best list angered plenty, so this year the American Film Institute is trying to torque you off 10 times by listing that many Top 10 lists.
Hell's Kitchen, 9 p.m., Fox The contestants have to cook for 80 expectant moms. We say throw all the food in the center of the room and take bets.
SEASON PREMIERE America's Got Talent, 9 p.m., NBC Auditions blah blah blah talent blah blah something weird blah blah you won't believe it!
Farmer Wants a Wife, 9 p.m., CW It's time to meet the fam, and what better way than to get into a huge catfight? That's what mama wanted to see you bring home.
Supernanny, 10 p.m., ABC Wilson Phillips singer Wendy Wilson and her husband, Dan Knutson, are struggling to raise a 4-year-old son, his 3-year-old brother and a pair of 6-week-old twins. Maybe they're just mad their mom is in Wilson Phillips.
Last Comic Standing, 8:30 p.m., NBC Lonny Ross and Keith Powell head to Miami to find funny people who make fools of themselves. They should go to Tallahassee for that.
Fear Itself, 10 p.m., NBC A guy accidentally switches bodies with a serial killer and has to escape prison to save his family. That's what all the inmates say.
The 35th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, 8 p.m., ABC We work all day, so we don't get to see the stories. Tell us how it goes, will you?
Camp Rock, 8 p.m., Disney The Mouse's latest effort to make kids try to suck all the money out of your wallet, now that all those High School Musical Kids have hit puberty. The network premiere is on Saturday on ABC.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com