On TV this week
The Glades, 9 p.m., A&E A male stripper ends up dead, forcing Longworth into investigating the beefcake trade. Not every one of those guys can make it big like Channing Tatum.
Brain Games, 9 p.m., NatGeo Interactive games show how you really can't trust what your brain is perceiving at any given time. Remember that the next time you tell the police officer you didn't see the guy you just hit with your car.
Longmire, 10 p.m., A&E Some cattle and their driver are stolen by thieves. Well, those cattle aren't going to drive themselves back to the hideout.
Newlyweds: The First Year, 10 p.m., Bravo Kathryn just now realizes John won't be a very involved father. If she thinks he's bad, she should watch more episodes of Mad Men.
Sex: How It Works, 8 p.m., NatGeo Well, if you don't know by now, you really should blame your parents. Or at least spend some more time on the Internet.
SEASON FINALE The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC Yeah, someone is going to win tonight, but we all should say so long to Usher and Shakira. One season was plenty for both of them.
Hardcore Pawn: Chicago, 9:30 p.m., TRUtv It's like the regular Hardcore Pawn, but Windy City style. If they try to sell you a "Chicago overcoat," don't buy it.
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food The show is going healthy tonight, challenging the chefs to make things with chia seeds, dandelion greens and tempeh. We don't know what to do with that stuff with a week to plan a menu, so the time constraints should be unbearable.
SEASON PREMIERE Franklin & Bash, 9 p.m., TNT Heather Locklear has secured a post as a lawyer hired by Stanton. She's tough, all right, escaping a reboot of Melrose Place and a stint on Hot in Cleveland.
SEASON PREMIERE Hot in Cleveland, 10 p.m., TV Land Speaking of Heather Locklear's former employer, they're doing a live show to ring in the new season. Betty White, especially, must like the sound of that.
SEASON PREMIERE Futurama, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Bad news, everyone. After finally regaining its full stride since returning in 2010, Comedy Central has seen fit to cancel this show. Yes, again. We have 13 episodes left before it lies dormant for another seven years and is resurrected, probably on Netflix.
SERIES PREMIERE Fight Master: Bellator MMA, 10 p.m., Spike A gang of welterweights compete for a spot in the Bellator MMA Tournament and $100,000. We wonder if they get medical insurance through the show.
SEASON PREMIERE The Exes, 10:30 p.m., TV Land Stuart starts dating again. We hear the women in Cleveland are pretty available.
SEASON PREMIERE The Soul Man, 11 p.m., TV Land Cedric the Entertainer will start doing a Seinfeld-style standup routine about the show's storylines each week. That may very well end up being better than the show.
Hell's Kitchen, 8 p.m., Fox The five remaining contestants get their black jackets? Oh, we thought you said they were getting their flak jackets.
Does Someone Have to Go?, 9 p.m., Fox A home remodeling company in St. Louis needs its own renovation. Firing a few people will put out that fire.
Pawn Stars, 9 p.m., History Corey hurts his hand and ankle, but miraculously still goes to work. Kind of like we'd still have to go to work with an injured hand and ankle. And we type standing up for a living.
SEASON PREMIERE Wilfred, 10 p.m., FX This season Ryan starts to realize he may be mentally ill. Well, yeah, when your dog appears to be a man in a suit, something could be off.
Best Of Access 360 World Heritage, 6 p.m., NatGeo A highlight real of all those UNESCO World Heritage sites you'll never get to see because of fear, sickness, prohibitive cost or natural disaster. Of course, that could describe almost every NatGeo show.
Undercover Boss, 8 p.m., CBS The CEO of KOA visits a few campgrounds to see how his employees are making out. By all means, head over to fix that leaky valve at the dump station and report back.
Magic City, 9 p.m., Starz Ben makes some plans to get rid of Ike forever, but first must host a Seder. He's probably going to be serving extra helpings of maror this year.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org