On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE Home Rules, 9 p.m., HGTV Former WNBA player Fran Harris tries to help families with strained relationships by fixing up their homes. You want to help? Try to keep their mortgages from being underwater.
Kell on Earth, 10 p.m., Bravo Why on earth, after a day of struggling with morons and loudmouths at your office, would you want to watch a show in which a young woman is victimized by her office's morons and loudmouths?
SERIES PREMIERE Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty, 10 p.m., VH1 Jess takes pals Ken Paves and CaCee Cobb on trips across the world to see what constitutes beauty in other cultures. Simpson must be looking for one in which you don't have to brush your teeth and you eat only fried foods (see The Juice* on Page 35).
SERIES PREMIERE Justified, 10 p.m., FX Elmore Leonard novels come to life in a new series about a U.S. marshal cleaning up his home state of Kentucky. And, boy, do we know that Kentucky needs cleaning up.
SERIES PREMIERE Marriage Under Construction, 11 p.m., HGTV This midseason replacement follows newlyweds as they purchase, renovate and decorate their new home. What fun will it be watching an exhausted couple staring at each other while sitting on the floor to eat dinner because they can't afford furniture over property taxes and insurance?
SERIES PREMIERE Love Games, 11 p.m., Oxygen So let's get this formula straight: Three former members of The Bad Girls Club are fighting over 13 guys from a bachelor pool, right? Can we just eliminate everyone?
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW They've already done makeovers, introduced some offscreen ringer and presented a photo shoot where the models have to get naked, and yet the girls continue to seem shocked. Apparently none of them have ever watched the show before.
First Love, Second Chance, 10 p.m., TV Land Some schmo who left a hot young bartender behind to move to Florida tries to win her affection. Like there's no hot bartenders in Florida or something.
The Locator, 10 p.m., WE A foster child wants to repay the kindness of her guardian by helping her find her long-lost daughter. It'd be killer if that's who the foster child turned out to be.
Afghan Star, 9 p.m., HBO A doc following the Afghan version of American Idol, which caused an uproar when one female contestant danced in public without her head scarf. Also telling is that, like America, this show is more popular with voters than actually voting for government officials.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC Katherine Heigl may not be back, but we've got to ask: Have you really noticed? (Again, see The Juice* on Page 35.)
The Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo Kelly has to tell her daughters she's posing in Playboy (the issue in question came out last month). More entertaining will be seeing how she attempts to take the moral high ground in any situation from now on.
Thin Ice, 8 p.m., ABC Figure skaters Jamie Sale, Patrice Lauzon, Shizuka Arakawa, Shae-Lynn Bourne, David Pelletier, John Zimmerman, Michael Weiss and more compete as pairs for a panel of judges that includes Kristi Yamaguchi and Dick Button. Kim Yu-na won't be there, though. Sorry.
Who Do You Think You Are?, 8 p.m., NBC We find out Lisa Kudrow has roots in Belarus, a victory for Belarus-Americans everywhere.
The Ricky Gervais Show, 9 p.m., HBO A segment featuring firefighters using monkeys to rescue people gives us really good ideas for what to do with that monkey that's been on the loose in Tampa Bay for the past year.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org