On TV this week
House, 8 p.m., Fox The plot revolves around a cat that is widely believed to visit people just before they die. We remember reading about this one in the paper, so we know there's a cat that really does that.
SERIES FINALE Kyle XY, 9 p.m., ABC Family The series comes to a close as Kyle tries to put a stop to plans to grow more super children. That's not much of a pro-life message, is it?
Death on a Factory Farm, 10 p.m., HBO This documentary chronicles the animal abuse going on at an Ohio hog farm, but we grew up in Nebraska, so we already know what happens to that bacon cheeseburger before it ends up on your plate. The rest of you, be warned.
NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS It seems Tuesday night is a bad time to be a boxer. You either get murdered ...
Reaper, 8 p.m., CW ... or the devil wants Sam to take your soul to hell. Not that there's much of a difference.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10 p.m., NBC Carol Burnett plays a former Rockette who owns a strip club that's part of a triple-homicide investigation. Let's see her tug her ear to get out of this one.
The Chopping Block, 8 p.m., NBC The teams must each host a party for a fashion designer. That's easy, because everyone knows people in the fashion industry never eat.
SERIES PREMIERE Better Off Ted, 8:30 p.m., ABC You see what they did there? His name is Ted, and that rhymes with dead. Oh, if only the show were that funny.
Life, 9 p.m., NBC Gabrielle Union joins the cast as Crews' new partner. If only we could all be so lucky.
Hell's Kitchen, 9 p.m., Fox Gordon Ramsay wants his charges to turn leftovers into tapas. By Thursday night, everyone at tbt* has to do that while we're waiting for payday.
The Office, 9 p.m., NBC Michael's been at Dunder Mifflin for 15 years? And he's not VP yet? Why, do you think?
ER, 10 p.m., NBC Neela jumps ship early, leaving the hospital, but she still has time to argue with Dubenko. Those are the days we'll miss most.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 8 p.m., Fox Wait, so how does something that happens in the future affect what happens in the past? This series has become about as easy to untangle as Bubble Yum in your hair.
SERIES FINALE Battlestar Galactica, 8 p.m., Sci-Fi Do you think this will have a happy ending? After all, this series has been just one giant ray of sunshine about the human race, hasn't it?
SEASON PREMIERE Head Case, 10 p.m., Starz Dr. Goode is trying to get married, figure out why Macy Gray is obsessed with Barack Obama and showing off Brangelina's wedding gift to Tori Spelling. Life is hard in Hollywood.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org