On TV this week
SEASON PREMIERE Dancing With the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC Wynonna Judd, Kellie Pickler, Andy Dick, D.L. Hughley, Dorothy Hamill, Lisa Vanderpump, Victor Ortiz, Alexandra Raisman, Jacoby Jones, Zendaya Coleman and Ingo Rademacher play this season's round of "Who is that, again?"
SEASON FINALE The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC We find out who the third finalist is, then find out who the two losers are. Wait, are they called not-losers? The rules are still kind of confusing, even after all this time.
SEASON FINALE Continuum, 8 p.m., SyFy Will Kiera be able to stop the terrorist attack Jason says he's been waiting 20 years for? If she does, he may end up a bit disappointed.
SERIES PREMIERE Bates Motel, 10 p.m., A&E In case you ever wondered what made Norman Bates crazy, here's a series focusing on him as a teenager. That offers a skewed view, because everyone is a little insane during their teen years.
SEASON FINALE Deception, 10 p.m., NBC The identity of Vivian's killer is finally revealed. Maybe it's Edward's wife. That would wrap things up nicely, if it were possible.
SERIES PREMIERE Splash, 8 p.m., ABC Because who wouldn't want to watch Greg Louganis coach Louie Anderson about how to high dive? Plus, Brent Musberger will be overjoyed to learn Katherine Webb spends a lot of time in a swimsuit.
SEASON FINALE Betty White's Off Their Rockers, 8:30 p.m., NBC You could gripe about the season finale being a clip show, but when the subjects are entirely senior citizens, you have to expect the show will knock off early.
Face Off, 9 p.m., SyFy The creator of the new series Defiance stops by to cross-promote his show with a challenge that involves creating a look inspired by the offspring of two of the show's aliens. Making everyone look like Sanda Bernhard doesn't count.
Armed & Ready, 10 p.m., Travel Sure, we've got the Kennedy Space Center, but have you ever wondered how they do it in Houston? We're pretty sure Johnson Space Center doesn't have an attraction based on Angry Birds. Oh, never mind, they do.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 9 p.m., NBC Detective Cassidy is accused of raping a woman while he's working undercover. So to speak.
Suburgatory, 9:30 p.m., ABC George forgets the birthday gift Dallas gives him, so she starts binge eating. Because only in the burbs is overeating an unforgivable sin. Well, unless you're at the mall.
Chicago Fire, 10 p.m., NBC Mills confronts Benny about the fire that killed his dad, which doesn't make the Chief like him any better. Anybody talking about fires at a firehouse is just asking for trouble, anyway.
Psych, 10 p.m., USA Shawn wants to get to know Juliet's stepfather, but it sounds like he's more than just an accountant. Well, he is played by Jeffrey Tambor, so he's bound to be trouble.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC The surgeons struggle with owning the hospital. Wasn't there some clause about not being able to work there anymore? They should do that. They could always just give the money back to the board and save themselves the trouble.
Battleground: Rhino Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet This episode is about the team trying to stop poachers from killing rhinos. Hold up, isn't that what every episode is supposed to be about?
SERIES PREMIERE Forecasting the End, 9 p.m., Weather Experts discuss how catastrophic weather could bring about the end of days. Something tells us if the end of days really arrived, the method by which it happens will be the least of our concerns.
Legit, 10:30 p.m., FX Billy's roommate Rodney escapes the care center, probably to get away from Jim, who just started working there.
SEASON FINALE Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC Home Improvement's Jonathan Taylor Thomas stars as one of Kristin's former coworkers who is now a successful restaurant owner. And you thought he was just annoying playing Randy.
SEASON FINALE Malibu Country, 8:30 p.m., ABC Reba tries an online date and decides dating again might be okay. But only if Stacy Keach is involved.
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet The Tropical Smoothie Cafe on Tampa Road asks Wayde and Brett to make an aquarium in the shape of a smoothie cup. We haven't been to that location in a while, so you'll have to tell us if they made it or not.
Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC A woman dies of blindness, most likely because of a Wesen that feeds off tears. He should hang around Mets fans these days and save himself some legwork.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org