On TV this week
SEASON PREMIERE Greek, 8 p.m., ABC Family Casey is afraid she will cause a ruckus when she decides she's going to quit paying for her friends and leave ZBZ house. That's the most adult thing on this show yet.
House, 8 p.m., Fox Mos Def stars as a man with locked-in syndrome. As in, he's locked in to guest roles and can't get his own gig.
Medium, 10 p.m., NBC Allison suddenly hears a game show-style buzzer whenever someone lies to her. So, she never hears what anyone is saying, we're guessing.
SERIES PREMIERE Osbournes: Reloaded, 9:20 p.m., Fox The whole Ozzy clan does comic bits on the street and in the studio, the first of which is traveling the country to live with other families with the Osbourne surname. Don't ask us about the starting time — it makes about as much sense as the rest of the show does.
SERIES PREMIERE Cupid, 10 p.m., ABC Bobby Cannavale stars as the titular matchmaker in this reboot of the 1998 offering starring Jeremy Piven, which lasted all of 15 episodes. Let's see if the aim is better.
SERIES PREMIERE Pretty Wicked, 11 p.m., Oxygen We don't understand these shows that purport to judge true inner beauty. If these contestants are jerks their entire lives, surely they can fake out a TV crew for a couple of weeks.
I Get That a Lot, 8 p.m., CBS This April Fool's Day special employs celebrities pretending to be normal folks who look like famous people. Like Heidi Klum working at a pizzeria. Of course, when the star power is the likes of Jeff Probst, Ice-T, LeAnn Rimes and Jessica Simpson, it may not always be a stretch to assume they're pumping gas.
Locked Up Abroad, 10 p.m., NatGeo Word of advice: If a woman you meet at a bar offers to whisk you away to Peru, make sure her suitcases aren't filled with cocaine. And make doubly sure you're not carrying them.
SEASON PREMIERE RENO 911!, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central Jonah Hill guest stars as we find out who survived that taco-stand accident. Because there are two new characters, we're guessing not everyone made it.
Grand Canyon Skywalk, 8 p.m., NatGeo How did they make that glass-floored bridge that's 4,000 feet above the canyon floor? Who cares? We're not walking out on that thing.
SERIES FINALE ER, 8 p.m., NBC Starting with an hour of clips from the past 15 seasons, we finally say goodbye to Chicago's finest gaggle of doctors. Putting that into perspective, it kind of makes Grey's Anatomy look even worse than it is.
SEASON FINALE Eleventh Hour, 10 p.m., CBS Could it be that the crazy woman's claims that the FBI's deputy director stole her baby are true? It can when the season is wrapping up.
SEASON PREMIERE Mistresses, 9 p.m., BBC America Still like Desperate Housewives, but better, because they all have jobs.
Stargate: Continuum, 9 p.m., Sci Fi Suffering from Stargate withdrawal? Watch this direct-to-video sequel to Stargate SG-1, in case you don't have a DVD player.
Dog Whisperer, 9 p.m., NatGeo Cesar Millan has to help a horse whisperer with her dog problems. They're like horses, just smaller.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com
To do this week
Dame Edna: Dame Edna Everage, the most fabulous woman on earth as she so often reminds us, brings her lilac 'do, glam gowns and rhinestone-encrusted glasses to Ruth Eckerd Hall at 8 tonight and Tuesday for "My First Last Tour." Though who knows if it's really the end of a 50-year career for the character's creator, Barry Humphries (Bruce the Shark in Finding Nemo). Tickets are $47 to $80 plus service charge. Call (727) 791-7400 or go to rutheckerdhall.com.
April Fools! Wednesday is April 1, so beware — and start planning your perfect prank. Or head over for an opening night and April Fool's Day celebration at the Festival of the Moving Image. There's a vaudeville-like stage show, live music by Hypnophonic Band and an outdoor screening of a Buster Keaton film. It starts at 6 p.m. at the Hillsborough Community College's Ybor campus. Free. The festival continues through Sunday. Go to www.yborfilmfestival.com for a schedule.
'Goat Boy' lives: Longtime favorite Jim Breuer (Saturday Night Live's "Goat Boy" and host of VH1's Web Junk) brings his standup comedy to the Improv in Centro Ybor Thursday through Sunday. He will no doubt do his killer impersonation of AC/DC singing the Hokey Pokey. Tickets are $22-$25 at (813) 864-4000. tampaimprov.com.
Hot cars for spring break: It's Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg week and Pinellas County schools are on break. The city welcomes the race crowd with the Festival of States Illuminated Night Parade on Thursday, with floats, music, dancing and beads, followed by fireworks. The parade starts at 7 p.m. at Central Avenue and Fifth Street and ends on Beach Drive and Fifth Avenue N. Then the IndyCar and ALMS events get under way with drifting exhibitions, qualifying and daily air shows Friday through Sunday, with the big race at 2:45 Sunday afternoon. There's also the Bright House Networks Speed Zone, with a ferris wheel and kids activities. Go to gpstpete.com for a full schedule and ticket information.