On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE Hired, 6:30 p.m., MTV Recent college grads search in vain for jobs in this new reality series. You could get the same experience by reading your local newspaper, you know.
SEASON FINALE One Tree Hill, 8 p.m., CW The gang heads to Utah for Julian's film premiere. Boy, all the exotic place famous people go!
SEASON FINALE House, 8 p.m., Fox House and the team head out of the hospital to help victims of a disaster. At least they'll know what caused all the injuries this time.
SEASON PREMIERE Gossip Girl, 9 p.m., CW Michelle Trachtenberg shows up again to increase the cuteness quotient a few more notches to take attention off Leighton Meester and Blake Lively.
SEASON PREMIERE Castle, 10 p.m., ABC Will Castle and Beckett just get it over with? Even Scully and Mulder had to face it eventually.
SEASON FINALE 90210, 8 p.m., CW Place your bets on which storylines explode and which take a turn for the worse. Our money's on a couple splitting, a character seeking revenge and some anonymous revelation. Yahtzee!
Glee, 9 p.m., Fox We'd make fun of Joss Whedon directing this episode, but the nerdlingers out there get so mad that we'll focus on Neil Patrick Harris' guest appearance instead. At least he has a sense of humor.
SEASON FINALE V, 10 p.m., ABC In the original miniseries, we had to wait until almost the end of the show for the hybrid baby to be born, but got to see the aliens a couple hours in. Too bad this show, which has been renewed for some reason, has flipped the formula.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW Sit back and watch these catty teens in footage that wasn't good enough the first time around.
SERIES PREMIERE The Good Guys, 8 p.m., Fox Two detectives working small-time crimes end up working major felonies in this sneak preview. If you miss it, don't worry; it'll be on again in the fall.
SEASON FINALE The Middle, 8:30 p.m., ABC Betty White's on here, too? That's it, next week we're getting her to write these TV capsules.
SEASON FINALE Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC Unlike most families these days, it looks like this one is going to stick together for another year. Maybe they should give classes.
SEASON FINALE Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m., ABC Jules and Grayson decide to tell Bobby they're dating. Didn't Courteney Cox have this problem when she and Chandler were dating?
SEASON FINALE Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10 p.m., NBC Shocking details about Sharon Stone's character come to light. Like the fact that she used to kill people with ice picks.
FlashForward, 8 p.m., ABC Next week is the last episode of this show, so they'd better wrap it up fast. Maybe those Joss Whedon geeks can write in and save it.
SEASON FINALE Bones, 8 p.m., Fox The team investigates a set of remains believed to have been a hoarder. It must have been hard to find them among all the other dead bodies.
SEASON FINALE Community, 8 p.m., NBC Britta and Professor Slater both want to be with Jeff. C'mon guys, we all know Joel McHale's got a thing for Ryan Seacrest.
SEASON FINALE Parks and Recreation, 8:30 p.m., NBC Leslie wants to have a children's concert, but Ben is preventing her. Maybe it's because American Idol is on that night.
SEASON FINALE Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC First we had Demi Lovato, now we have Mandy Moore. Seattle Grace is apparently turning into some kind of testing ground for pop singers who want to be actors.
SEASON FINALE Fringe, 9 p.m., Fox Finally, we get to see what's in that parallel universe. We hope it's like our universe, except everyone's a cowboy.
SEASON FINALE The Office, 9 p.m., NBC Andy is the main suspect for blowing the whistle about the printers catching fire. Like an employee saying that a product sold by a paper company combusting is a bad thing.
SEASON FINALE 30 Rock, 9:30 p.m., NBC Liz meets a guy and Jack has to dump a girl. Like that's going to work out for either of them.
SEASON FINALE The Mentalist, 10 p.m., CBS Patrick's psychic pal Kristina tries to help with a murder. We wish we could say we had a psychic friend.
SEASON FINALE Medium, 9 p.m., CBS Allison's pesky brain tumor reappears, conveniently just before the show heads into summer break. It's like it was planned or something.
SEASON FINALE Kitchen Nightmares, 9 p.m., Fox Gordon heads back to some of his projects to see if they're keeping up with the new guidelines. Call us crazy, but we're guessing some of them aren't.
SEASON FINALE Miami Medical, 10 p.m., CBS You mean to tell us this is the first time all season they've had an alligator attack to deal with? — Joshua Gillin email@example.com