On TV this week
SEASON FINALE How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m., CBS Marshall and Lily try to decide if they're ready to have a baby. There's the shark, there's the ramp …
SERIES FINALE 24, 8 p.m., Fox There normally would be an awful lot of drama surrounding the end of this show, which has been cliffhangering it for eight seasons now. But with Jack Bauer flying off the rails like a disgruntled postal worker and President Taylor wringing her hands over decisions we all know are made at the White House every day, we really just can't wait for it all to be over. It doesn't hurt that there's a movie in the works, so we know Jack will live for that.
SEASON FINALE Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC There are two episodes, and Scott Bakula is guest starring, so we guess that's as good a way to wrap up the season as any.
SEASON FINALE Rules of Engagement, 8:30 p.m., CBS Jennifer and Adam really want to get hitched at City Hall, but events are preventing it. Try Vegas. At least the buffet will be discounted.
SEASON PREMIERE The Bachelorette, 9 p.m., ABC Ali Fedotowsky decided that going back to her job instead of staying with Jake Pavelka was a big mistake. Who can see her on TV when she's at work?
SEASON FINALE Two and a Half Men, 9 p.m., CBS Charlie's license gets suspended. Life really does imitate art.
SEASON FINALE The Big Bang Theory, 9:30 p.m., CBS Penny starts to think dating a weirdo like Leonard is ruining her chances at finding happiness with a normal guy. Here's the secret, hon: No guy is "normal."
SERIES FINALE Law & Order, 10 p.m., NBC It's somehow appropriate this old-school drama's final episode is about chasing down an anonymous blogger. The Internet really is killing scripted dramas.
SEASON FINALE CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS A serial killer leaves clues for Horatio to solve in order to find him. Boy, this series knows how to roll out the original plot lines!
SEASON FINALE NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS Mark Harmon goes to Mexico to face down a drug cartel, but must make a tough choice to save his colleagues. What, like move to Los Angeles?
SEASON FINALE NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS Because Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J are busy on the Left Coast, you know.
SEASON FINALE The Good Wife, 10 p.m., CBS Should Alicia stick with Peter during his campaign or run off with Will? Oh, like political relationships are based on trust, anyway.
SEASON FINALE Parenthood, 10 p.m., NBC Crosby has to decide if he will stay with his old family or move in with his new one. Which one has a Nintendo Wii?
SEASON FINALE American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox Who cares who wins? This is the last time we're going to see Simon and his too-tight T-shirts.
SEASON FINALE Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS Tim Curry is playing a serial killer. Wait, "playing," huh?
SEASON FINALE CSI: NY, 10 p.m., CBS The kid who played John Conner in Terminator 2 is chasing down Danny and Lindsay. Give Ahnuld a call.
Top Chef Masters, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs have to create a dish inspired by one of the Greek gods. We can only hope for Dionysus (look it up).
SERIES FINALE Flash Forward, 8 p.m., ABC Now that this once-hopeful Lost replacement is biting the dust, we'll have to find other shows that your average mouth-breathing TV viewer thinks is too difficult to follow, thus dooming it to cancellation. Well, maybe Jospeh Fiennes wasn't the best casting.
SEASON PREMIERE So You Think You Can Dance. 8 p.m., Fox The biggest change to the show after this audition episode? Only 10 contestants will be in the starting group. Take note, American Idol.
SERIES PREMIERE 100 Questions, 8:30 p.m., NBC An online dating site's compatibility test leads a woman to recount significant moments in her life. That's why she can't find a date: She's spending years answering survey questions.
Gulf Oil Spill, 10 p.m., NatGeo If you don't already feel guilty/angry/ashamed about the growing ecological disaster out in the gulf, you will after watching this special.
Wife Swap, 8 p.m., ABC An etiquette teacher switches places with a mom who takes her daughters mud racing. There's got to be a polite way to spin doughnuts out in a bog.
Friday Night Lights, 8 p.m., NBC It's homecoming, complete with angry boosters, a hunting trip and a history lesson about East Dillon. We don't recall homecoming being that exciting.
Cannibal Hippos, 10 p.m., NatGeo This special about an apparent hippo-killing epidemic that jumps to humans sounds more like a SyFy original movie than an educational special. Maybe this should be on TLC.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org