On TV this week
House, 8 p.m., Fox First, a ballerina's lungs collapse during a performance, then the treatment makes her skin fall off. Sounds like breaking a leg is a better alternative.
24, 9 p.m., Fox Are we the only one who thinks hiring your daughter as chief of staff is a bad idea? And will Chloe take over from Jack after he dies from weaponized mad cow disease?
Rules of Engagement, 9:30 p.m., CBS Russell challenges his married friend and engaged friend to a battle of picking up women. We all know from Seinfeld who wins this one.
SERIES PREMIERE The Apprentice, 8 p.m., BBC America Instead of Trump, it's rich guy Sir Alan Sugar. Imagine that: a TV show Britain takes from America, instead of vice versa.
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC Viewers get to pick the third finalist after the last-chance workout. We say they should decide that by wringing out the workout gear and weighing the sweat.
The Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo Jill and Ramona stop fighting. Well, for 20 minutes or so, at least.
SEASON FINALE Scrubs, 8 p.m., ABC We're left wondering if the gang will be back on their new network after only one season. Hey, NBC gave them seven chances.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW Someone starts crying at panel, and since Fo got eliminated last week, we're at a loss to say who it is. Let's say Allison; she's got the biggest eyes.
Law & Order, 10 p.m., NBC A firefighter and his wife are tortured to death in their homes, but the cops take a cue from the government and decide not to pursue charges.
Bones, 8 p.m., Fox A strange crossover ensues when Booth hallucinates seeing Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Are the ratings that bad?
SERIES PREMIERE The Fashion Show, 10 p.m., Bravo Isaac Mizrahi, Kelly Rowland and IMG Fashion executive Fern Mallis help the audience pick winners from 15 pro designers as the contestants compete for a $125,000 grand prize. But if they're already professionals, why are they on TV?
Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, 10 p.m., ABC Alex P. Keaton (or Marty McFly, if you will) travels the globe to talk to people about hope. We don't like that the commercials won't show his face. It makes us sad.
SEASON FINALE Everybody Hates Chris, 8 p.m., CW During the last week of school, Chris finds out he'll be held back in 10th grade if he gets one more tardy notice. So much for Skip Day.
SEASON FINALE Dollhouse, 9 p.m., Fox Terminator didn't make it, and since this is a Joss Whedon series, we're doubting Eliza Dushku and co. will be back. But you can always dream.
NUMB3RS, 10 p.m., CBS Can we just once write a capsule for a show guest starring Henry Winkler and not make a reference to the Fonz? No, apparently not.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org