On TV this week
SERIES FINALE Stargate Universe, 9 p.m., Syfy This episode was written before the show was canceled, making this a cliffhanger ending that really won't wrap up a whole lot. Maybe more of you should have watched, and then this wouldn't have happened.
Vanished With Beth Holloway, 10 p.m., Lifetime Natalee Holloway's mother channels John Walsh by helping other families who had a member turn up missing. It's kind of like America's Most Wanted, but with a lot less surveillance footage.
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo This show probably won't top the all-out grossness of that adult baby episode, but now South Korea has rehab centers for video-game junkies. They're called jobs.
NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS The Port-to-Port killer may have infiltrated NCIS, which will save the show money on hiring a new member of the cast. Hint: You may want to question that new guy, Dexter What's-his-name.
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC The contestants can get extra credit by playing the Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout video game. That doesn't offer them many escapist thrills.
How the States Got Their Shapes, 10 p.m., History Besides learning there was almost a state named Forgottonia, we find out Chicago almost ended up in Wisconsin instead of Illinois. That would have ruined the Green Bay rivalry.
SEASON FINALE Better With You, 8:30 p.m., ABC Oh, so we're going to go with the "let's hurry up and get married after the woman has gone into labor" storyline. How many shows have done that one already? We've lost count.
Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC Cameron gets sick the day of the Lady Gaga concert, leaving Mitchell undecided about what to do. Girl, you know you need to throw some Tussin down his throat, get him dressed and get him out the door — don't be a drag, just be a queen!
Breaking In, 9:30 p.m., Fox Contra Security attempts to steal the Colonel's secret KFC recipe but fail, of course. They suspect it was a case of fowl play. (I'm so, so sorry for that one.)
SEASON FINALE Community, 8 p.m., NBC You know, every workplace staff should have a paintball tournament. Think of all the scores that could be settled once and for all on the field of battle.
SEASON FINALE CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS Langston catches up with the Dick & Jane Killer. It's almost as scary as Laurence Fishburne having to face shooting the two Matrix sequels (although nothing could be quite that bad).
SEASON FINALE Outsourced, 10:30 p.m., NBC Rajiv finds out his bride isn't who he thought she was. Turns out she's actually from Idaho and speaks Hindi with a really, really thick American accent.
Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo You've all been wondering what Susan Lucci thinks about All My Children getting canceled. Now you can find out. Thanks, Andy Cohen!
SERIES FINALE Smallville, 8 p.m., CW It only took a decade, but it looks like Clark Kent is finally growing up, bringing this show to a close. But don't worry, the CW will reboot in a year or so, surely.
SEASON FINALE CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS Mac's near-death experience makes him determined to close his last unsolved case. The fact he only has one is proof this is just a TV show, because real cops have hundreds of cold cases.
SERIES PREMIERE Swamp Brothers, 10 p.m., Discovery On the heels of the Cajun Swamp People on History and Swamp Loggers on the same network, this reality vehicle follows a wildlife-focused family as they collect alligator eggs and chase feral hogs in an attempt to convince the entire world swamps are the only ecosystem in Florida.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org