On TV this week
Gossip Girl, 9 p.m., CW We've got to ask all our tbt*-tinis, are you as disappointed in last week's controversial "three-way" as we were? And this week, Lady Gaga figures in the plot. So many missed opportunities!
Expedition Great White, 9 p.m., NatGeo A team tries to catch the big shark off the coast of Baja California so they can tag it and study it. And get a cool story for all their angler friends.
SERIES PREMIERE Chef Academy, 11 p.m., Bravo London chef Jean Christophe Novelli opens a test program for a top-notch culinary institute in L.A., but without the screaming and abuse. In that case, we give this one three episodes.
Merry Madagascar, 8 p.m., NBC A sequel to the animated movies in which Santa crash-lands on the island, gets amnesia and keeps thinking he's stranded with Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith.
The Biggest Loser, 8:30 p.m., NBC Project Runway's Tim Gunn and Tabatha's Salon Takeover's Tabatha Coffey give the contestants makeovers. It's three great tastes that taste great together.
Melrose Place, 9 p.m., CW Finally, Amanda Woodward returns as Heather Locklear joins the cast. What did you think the "W" in WPK stood for, anyway?
SEASON FINALE America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW What can we do when we like both country bumpkin Laura and nerdy hottie Nicole? We say Laura wins, because Nicole can get work by herself.
CSI: NY, 10 p.m., CBS Skeet Ulrich is back, as the gang finds the third victim of the Compass Killer. You'd think they'd be easier to locate.
Top Chef: Las Vegas, 10 p.m., Bravo Thomas Keller is a judge as the survivors compete at the Bocuse d'Or (sort of the foodie Olympics). We're guessing now is not the time to try something you've never done before.
Terror in Mumbai, 8 p.m., HBO This documentary chronicles the 2008 attack in which 10 Pakistanis killed more than 170 people. Or you could play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and see the same kind of sickness.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS The team investigates a death in a bowling alley and discover that, actually, bowling is still pretty popular.
Bones, 8 p.m., Fox Booth and Brennan investigate human remains that were found by a real estate agent showing a property to prospective buyers. Must ... avoid ... "skeleton .... in the closet" ... joke.
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW Tess kidnaps Lois to find out where she went when she disappeared for weeks. Perhaps some other wingnut kidnapped her, wanting to know something.
Medium, 9 p.m., CBS Allison wears sunglasses that show numbers linked to people's life expectancy. Tip: Do not look in the mirror.
Platinum Babies, 9 p.m., WE A rich Southern California couple blow $20,000 on a tea party for a baby shower and $31,000 on a photographer. Meanwhile, we found a perfectly good crib in the dumpster out back.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org