On TV this week
One Tree Hill, 9 p.m., CW As if flash-forwards weren't bad enough, now they're turning Karen's Cafe into a 1940s nightclub for a Casablanca-themed episode written by Chad Michael Murray. Don't play this again, Sam.
My Own Worst Enemy, 10 p.m., NBC Christian Slater proves the title true, as this stinker has been canceled. All you Pump Up the Volume fans get your fill now.
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS We celebrate 150 episodes by featuring a kidnapper who may also be a child killer. Wow, this show is so uplifting, it's easy to see why it's lasted so long.
The Biggest Loser: Families, 8 p.m., NBC It's '80s week for the survivors, two of whom are fighting. Maybe who took the one pair of legwarmers?
Shipwreck! Captain Kidd, 9 p.m., National Geographic In tough economic times, stories of actual sunken treasure always give us hope.
SERIES PREMIERE Brothers to Brutha, 10:30 p.m., BET The Harrell brothers struggle to make it big as their group Brutha is signed to Def Jam in this new reality series. Will they go the Levert route, or maybe worse, like the Jacksons?
SEASON FINALE America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., ABC Last season we predicted Whitney wouldn't make it because she was "plus-sized," but we were wrong. So this season we'll go out on a limb and say Annaleigh won't make it because she's too plain — well, and McKey's getaway sticks are so long they have their own zip code.
UFO Hunters, 10 p.m., History In 1897, the residents of Aurora, Texas, allegedly found and buried an alien body after a UFO crashed into a windmill, then dumped the pieces from the crash down the well. Now that they're all getting arthritis and skin lesions, they're blaming the ship in the water supply. Or, it could just be that the folks from that time are all something like 120 years old now.
CSI: NY, 10 p.m., CBS First CSI: Miami had 150 episodes this week, now NY marks 100 with a string of murders of all these people named Mac. In New York, that means just about everyone.
30 Rock, 9:30 p.m., NBC Liz is being hit on by Steve Martin, who plays an eccentric businessman in this week's episode. Nice to see Steve stretching himself.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC Dr. Hunt's off his rocker, Sloane is being too nice, Yang is jealous of someone and Karev is sensitive. Yet the storyline annoying us most is this Izzie thing with Denny's ghost hanging around. That's what she gets for saying the writers screwed her over.
Life on Mars, 10 p.m., ABC Have you noticed, this show is a lot like Quantum Leap, minus the leaping?
Deal or No Deal, 8 p.m., NBC As a reminder that a lifetime of drudgery only rewards you with death, some yahoo gets a $2 million case. Also, the models hold an eating contest. No, really.
Larry the Cable Guy's Star Studded Christmas Extravaganza, 9 p.m., CMT Nothing says Christmas more than jokes about farts, zits and beer. But now they're being told by Terry Bradshaw, Lewis Black and Jeff Foxworthy.
Sanctuary, 10 p.m., Sci-Fi A teenager can recount memories in photographic detail by drawing them without looking at the paper. At least he could find work as a laser printer.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org