On TV this week
How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m., CBS Barney's attitude is rubbing Robin the wrong way. Wait until she finds out he's actually gay.
Heroes, 8 p.m., NBC Hiro goes back in time three years to try to save Charlie from Sylar. And us from watching this show go downhill.
The Big Bang Theory, 9:30 p.m., CBS Because I'm a born-and-raised Nebraska boy, I can write this one: Leonard wants to learn about football because Penny is a die-hard Cornhuskers fan. Boy, she really is into losers.
SERIES PREMIERE V, 8 p.m., ABC In a retelling of the old 1980s Nazi allegory, some very beautiful aliens come to Earth and offer to help everyone, but some suspect their intentions aren't all good. Not to give anything away for the kids, but they aren't.
Kathy Griffin: Balls of Steel, 9 p.m., Bravo The comedian takes on her seventh Bravo special, making us conclude that she's really not trying to find work anywhere else anymore. How will she ever get off the D list at this rate?
SEASON PREMIERE Tabatha's Salon Takeover, 10 p.m., Bravo Ms. Coffey is back to berate salon owners once again. It'll be interesting to see how she helps them compensate for a dropoff in visits because everyone's unemployed.
Bill Cosby: The Mark Twain Prize 2009, 8 p.m., PBS Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock are among the dozens of comedians saluting Bill for all those years of jokes they grew up on. The last guy who got this, George Carlin, died before the show, so he's already ahead.
Top Chef All Stars Dinner, 10 p.m., Bravo Fabio Viviani hosts this special recounting the memories of past winners of the show and fan favorites. Why Fabio? Because he's so popular with the ladies, he's getting his own show soon. Take that, Hung.
SEASON FINALE Destination Truth, 10 p.m., SyFy Josh Gates heads to Bhutan to search for the yeti. We'd be afraid all we'd find in the Himalayas is frostbite.
SERIES PREMIERE Flowers Uncut, 10 p.m., TLC Seriously, a reality show about a florist? Producers will officially run out of ideas in about three more days.
The Vampire Diaries, 8 p.m., CW What do you get someone for their 162nd birthday? We believe that's way past the platinum scale of gift-giving.
FlashForward, 8 p.m., ABC Demetri finally tells his fiancee that he didn't have a flashback. Didn't she just read about it on the Mosaic Web site like everyone else?
Parks and Recreation, 8:30 p.m., NBC Megan Mullally from Will & Grace shows up as Ron's ex-wife. The trivial footnote that Mullally is actor Nick Offerman's actual wife is much more interesting.
Supernanny, 8 p.m., ABC A mother likes to use corporal punishment, and everyone is shocked. It'll be fun to see if the kids are actually poorly behaved because of the beatings or despite them.
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW Jor-El is alive and comes to Smallville looking for his boy. That pretty much unravels half of Clark's neuroses right there.
Ugly Betty, 9 p.m., ABC Jamie-Lynn Sigler gets hired on as Daniel's assistant. Don't push her around too much, or Tony Soprano will show up to have a word with you.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org