On TV this week
House, 8 p.m., Fox A teenage girl is brought to the hospital with severely swollen appendages after a wild night out. At least her belly isn't swelling, if you get our drift.
Gossip Girl, 9 p.m., CW If we're not mistaken, a threesome in prime time means it's sweeps week, right?
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS Laurence Fishburne's Dr. Langston shows up in Miami as part of a three-episode story arc that will take him across all three current CSI series. At least someone has job security these days.
Melrose Place, 9 p.m., CW Enjoy Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield while you can, because they have only one more week after this episode. Well, Auggie's blood was on the murder weapon, after all.
In the Spotlight With Robin Roberts: Bright Lights. Big Stars. All Access Nashville, 10 p.m., ABC Robin hangs out with Carrie Underwood, Tim McGraw and Martina McBride to get you all warmed up for the CMA Awards.
Tabatha's Salon Takeover, 10 p.m., Bravo Tabatha goes to Miami and has to deal with giant cockroaches and a snotty crew of stylists. You just gotta crush all of 'em under your boot.
The 43rd Annual CMA Awards, 8 p.m., ABC Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood co-host one of about 37 awards shows for country music, but we think this is the one that matters most.
Top Chef: Las Vegas, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs have to serve Padma Lakshmi breakfast in bed as part of a challenge, but we all know it's so she can hide her baby bump under the covers. We do read, Bravo producers.
SERIES PREMIERE Ghost Hunters Academy, 10 p.m., SyFy If you liked Ghost Hunters' ridiculous premise of recording paranormal activity and narrating your alleged fear, now you can watch other people learn how to do it, too.
Bones, 8 p.m., Fox Booth learns he can't shoot as well as he did before brain surgery and then has to investigate the death of a midget wrestler. It's like the suspect was just rubbing it in by killing a smaller target.
Community, 8 p.m., NBC Jeff signs up as a debate team coach, but quickly learns that forensics isn't what he thought it would be. We made that same mistake after trying it out because we loved cop shows.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS Laurence Fishburne's magical mystery tour through all three series comes to an end tonight as Dr. Langston gets some help busting up a prostitution ring. What did you do with this week?
Mad Max, 8 p.m., AMC It's Mad Max night on AMC, presumably to celebrate Mel Gibson's new daughter. Quick trivia: Max's last name is Rockatansky.
Invitation Only: Tim McGraw, 9 p.m., CMT If you didn't get enough country music during Wednesday's CMA Awards, here's a small concert from a big name to close out your week.
Medium, 9 p.m., CBS Allison thinks her daughter's new boyfriend may have killed someone. To be fair, don't all parents think that?
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com