On TV this week
NFL Football, 8:30 p.m., ESPN Brett Favre and Randy Moss on the same team? It's like the "Wish You'd Retire But Won't Bowl."
The Event, 9 p.m., NBC Hey, guys, the flashback-every-six-minutes thing was annoying in the premiere, but we'd hoped you'd have ditched it by now. You haven't.
Hoarders, 10 p.m., A&E The city wants to fine a woman $1,000 a day because of her filthy home infested with roaches and spiders. You'd think that would be a self-correcting problem.
SEASON FINALE Flipping Out, 9 p.m., Bravo Jeff and his cronies head to New York for a Kitchen of the Year celebration. They sure do know how to live it up.
Life Unexpected, 9 p.m., CW If you can't get enough One Tree Hill, here's a crossover episode set at a Portland music festival. If this show got any more hipster, we'd be drunk on PBR.
Don't Forget the Lyrics!, 9 p.m., MNT Bo Bice is the big name in tonight's celebrity edition. That's only because he couldn't get on Dancing With the Stars.
SERIES PREMIERE Being Terry Kennedy. 10 p.m., BET Skateboarders are celebrities, too. Tonight, Terry starts an apparel line and breaks ground on a park in the Watts neighborhood of L.A., both of which sound fairly interesting. Impressive.
SERIES PREMIERE Nick Swardson's Pretend Time, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Proof that a role on Reno 911! and working with Adam Sandler can get you your own show.
Parking Wars, 10:30 p.m., A&E As a former Fildelfyan, I have no idea why the Parking Authority folks don't wear body armor to work every day. People there got mad at Santa Claus — booting their car will get you killed.
SERIES PREMIERE The T.Ocho Show, 10:30 p.m., Versus Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco battle for playing time with the Cincinnati Bengals and vie to see who really has the biggest ego.
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery Jamie and Adam test myths about storm chasing in advance of ...
SEASON PREMIERE Storm Chasers, 10 p.m., Discovery Reed and Joel's reunion in an upgraded weathermobile.
MINISERIES PREMIERE What's Eating You, 10 p.m., E! A six-part documentary follows people with eating disorders. Like the aneorexic woman who is giving off a foul smell because her body is consuming itself. Or the woman who eats an entire roll of toilet paper dipped in pickle juice every night. Those indeed qualify as disorders.
30 Rock, 8:30 p.m., NBC The series performs a live episode from the titular New York tower. You'd think that since the characters work at a live skit show, they'd have thought of this before.
SERIES PREMIERE The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, 10 p.m., Bravo We just have to see what is so bad about this show that it is part of the reason Kelsey Grammer is divorcing his wife, Camille, because she wanted to be on it and he didn't.
SEASON PREMIERE Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, 8 p.m., CMT Another year of hopelessly hot young women being told they are way too fat.
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW Here we are at 200 episodes, and no one has yet noticed that Clark isn't around when people get rescued.
SERIES PREMIERE School Pride, 8 p.m., NBC The makers of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition fix up rundown schools, because taxpayers and the government sure as heck aren't going to do it.
SEASON PREMIERE World's Strictest Parents, 9 p.m., CMT We're starting to think these disobedient kids need more shame, not discipline, to turn their lives around. Punishment is temporary, but embarrassment lasts a lifetime.
SEASON PREMIERE Sanctuary, 10 p.m., SyFy Massive tsunamis are on the way to destroy mankind. We thought global warming was much more gradual.
SEASON PREMIERE Conspiracy Theory With Jesse Ventura, 10 p.m., TruTV Jesse tries to find out whether Plum Island is conducting biowarfare experiments. Silly conspiracy theorists, everyone knows we can't locate the real secret military-testing facilities.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org