On TV this week
Trauma, 9 p.m., NBC Tyler and Boone respond to an explosion at a Chinese restaurant. Too much bok choy, we're guessing.
Extreme Paranormal, 10 p.m., A&E A series of specials shows three nitwits trying to ascertain whether ghoulies actually exist in places where awful things happen. You know, like on the field at Raymond James Stadium.
Million Dollar Listing, 10 p.m., Bravo It's really confusing to us why these real estate shows are still on. If we wanted to see ghostly environments, we'd watch Extreme Paranormal.
Dancing With the Stars, 9 p.m., ABC In the biggest surprise of the whole season, here's a tribute to Michael Jackson. Why dishonor his memory as an entertainer by letting these misfits dance to his songs?
Flipping Out, 10 p.m., Bravo Jeff wonders whether he should start his own family. We can picture the spinoff series already.
The Forgotten, 10 p.m., ABC Alex has some sort of personal connection to the latest victim. Maybe it was the guy who kept paying attention to Christian Slater after Kuffs.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW The girls have to stretch their interviewing skills by talking to ... Jessica Lowndes from 90210? Couldn't they even get Ashlee Simpson from Melrose Place?
SERIES PREMIERE Lock 'n Load, 8 p.m., Showtime A six-part series about the wingnuts, conspiracy theorists, survivalists and other imbalanced personalities who frequent a gun store in Colorado. They have to make it look like that, since responsible, law-abiding gun owners don't make good TV.
CNN Presents. 9 p.m., CNN Soledad O'Brien anchors a two-part show called Latino in America, about the minority group projected to become the majority by 2050. Like it's something to be scared of, you know?
FlashForward, 8 p.m., ABC The network has picked this up for a full season, so at least we'll see what happens on April 29, 2010. We're sure they'll answer every question by then, right?
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC In typical Grey's fashion, an investigation into the death of a burn victim will result in every character immediately changing the conversation to themselves and how the stress affects them.
SERIES PREMIERE The Jeff Dunham Show, 9 p.m., Comedy Central The ventriloquist, who is using the same dummies we first saw him with about two decades ago, finally gets his own show. Somehow seeing Peanut on the street just wouldn't seem as entertaining as it would on stage.
Alien, 8 p.m., AMC You know this one, but it's always good. Especially around Halloween, with its sequel coming on right afterward.
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW The show continues to mine the DC Universe by bring Steph Song in as Roulette, who announces her arrival by kidnapping Oliver. How do you introduce yourself?
SERIES PREMIERE White Collar, 10 p.m., USA This one involves an FBI agent working with a con man to solve cases. Kind of like 48 Hours, without the big stars.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com