On TV this week
How I Met Your Mother, 8:30 p.m., CBS We would much rather have Sarah Chalke hang around than get another appearance by Britney Spears. Of course, Brit's looking much better these days.
SERIES PREMIERE Rita Rocks, 8:30 p.m., Lifetime Nicole Sullivan tries her MADtv chops by playing a grown woman who starts a garage band. She does realize these skits last 22 minutes, right?
Jose Canseco: Last Shot, 9 p.m., A&E Did you know the former Devil Ray was still taking steroids after 20 years? They're the only ones who believe him, he says.
Scream 2008, 9 p.m., Spike An awards show for the best in horror, science fiction, fantasy and comics. We look forward to the award for Most Memorable Mutilation.
SERIES PREMIERE Living With the Wolfman, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Some guy has been raising a pack of wild wolves in an English wildlife park for years. Wait, do they still qualify as wild then?
Frank TV, 11 p.m., TBS The impressionist returns with a few new characters, but surprisingly little weight loss. That must be to keep up his Bill Clinton mimicry.
World Series Game 1, 8 p.m., Fox Is there some kind of baseball game going on now? We forget.
Knight Rider, 8 p.m., NBC We'll hand it to this series — it's definitely about a guy and his talking car.
SERIES PREMIERE Stylista, 9 p.m., CW Eleven saps work themselves to death to land an editorial job at Elle magazine. Don't worry, even the winner will eventually be downsized.
Ugly Betty, 8 p.m., ABC This show is single-handedly keeping Lindsay Lohan's guest-starring career alive. Yay?
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS The crew tries to figure out why all these people keep kicking in the middle of seemingly random tasks. Reckon they died some other way?
LA Ink, 10 p.m., TLC Motley Crue's Nikki Six wants a portrait of Mick Mars tattooed on his bod. What is he not telling Kat Von D?
SEASON PREMIERE Real Simple. Real Life, 8 p.m., TLC A woman is so overcome by her need for perfection she tries on 10 outfits every morning and is afraid to have guests over for fear they'll discover her dirty secret that she's not a superhero.
Life, 10 p.m., NBC Crews and Reese have to find an escaped criminal in the chaos after a big L.A. earthquake.
Sanctuary, 10 p.m., Sci-Fi The gang loses their latest collectible when it escapes its cage and attacks the pilot of the plane its own, causing it to crash in the Hindu Kush mountain range. It would be no big deal, except then it starts eating the passengers. Airline service is really bad these days, huh?
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org