On TV this week
How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m., CBS Ted has three different dates on the line for the weekend of the wedding, so he has to make a choice. If it's not about ditching two of them for wings, beer and football, it's the wrong choice.
Monday Night Football, 8:30 p.m., ESPN At the beginning of the season, this Giants-Vikings matchup looked good. With New York winless and Minnesota 1-4, this game should be renamed the Desperation Bowl (featuring the return of Josh Freeman!).
Beauty and the Beast, 9 p.m., CW Vincent and Catherine track a mysterious beast, but have different reasons why. Vincent is no doubt hoping for a family reunion, while Catherine is weighing her options.
Castle, 10 p.m., ABC A man claiming to be from the future shows up to stop terrible things from happening. He's about a decade too late to prevent Firefly from being canceled.
SERIES PREMIERE Ravenswood, 9 p.m., ABC Family To kick off this Pretty Little Liars spin-off, Caleb goes to Ravenswood and finds out his pal Miranda is cursed. Meeting people in a new town is so difficult!
SEASON PREMIERE The Car Chasers, 10 p.m., CNBC It's always nice to see a business news network get into the reality-show game. Let's go buy some cars!
SERIES PREMIERE Chasing Nashville, 10 p.m., Lifetime Four teenagers from Appalachia desperately want to be country music superstars. Working a show in Branson just won't cut it, either. Them Ozark folk don't know 'bout no singin'.
SERIES PREMIERE Trust Me, I'm a Game Show Host, 10:30 p.m., TBS D.L. Hughley and Michael Ian Black host a show in which they try to make contestants believe something the pair are telling them. You know, like convincing them the hosts aren't on the downswing of their careers.
NBA Preseason Basketball, 7 p.m., ESPN We are now in that magical two weeks when every professional sport is on the air at once. Sure, the Celtics-Nets and Bulls-Thunder games tonight are only preseason, but the MLB playoffs balance out the intensity.
2013 World Series, 7:30 p.m., Fox Speaking of playoff baseball, it's time for everyone's favorite postseason event: Counting the number of times Joe Buck has to counter some asinine observation by Tim McCarver.
Revolution, 8 p.m., NBC A Texas ranger Miles knows could help him destroy the patriots. No, the Rangers play baseball and the Patriots are football! Wait, we just have sports on the brain.
Top Chef, 10 p.m., Bravo Eddie Huang teaches the cheftestants about why Vietnamese cuisine is so popular in New Orleans. It has to be more than just sharing oppressive heat and humidity.
Parks and Recreation, 8 p.m., NBC Orphan Black's Tatiana Maslany is still on the show, making that two episodes in a row. And believe it or not, she's still playing Tom Haverford's girlfriend.
SEASON PREMIERE Project Runway All Stars, 9 p.m., Lifetime The competition for Project Runway refugees features a new host in Alyssa Milano, and a new mentor, Marie Claire fashion editor Zanna Roberts Rassi. There are three past winners this go-around, proving that winning Project Runway doesn't mean instant success.
Blackfish, 9 p.m., CNN A documentary about how killer whales have a tendency to live up to their name, even in captivity. Or in the case of SeaWorld Orlando's Tilikum, especially in captivity.
Pawn Stars, 10 p.m., History A 1961 Fender Stratocaster may have been used to perform 007 theme song. You can tell because the E string is all stretched out.
SERIES PREMIERE Styled to Rock, 8 p.m., Bravo A dozen would-be designers not good enough for Project Runway try to impress Pharrell Williams, supermodel Erin Wasson and stylist Mel Ottenberg in an attempt to join Rihanna's style team. That job will be soooo easy, because she takes her clothes off for Instagram photos so often.
The iHeartradio Album Release Party With Katy Perry, 9 p.m., CW Katy celebrates the release of her new album Prism by answering questions from Mario Lopez. Well, how did you celebrate your album release?
Strike Back: Origins, 10 p.m., Cinemax The series you just finished watching was actually the show's second season, so now you can go back and watch the first with a different cast as the leads, which surely won't confuse you at all. Walking Dead fans will enjoy Andrew Lincon and Chief Collinson.
SERIES PREMIERE Dracula, 10 p.m., NBC Since Sleepy Hollow proved to be such a modest hit for Fox, the Peacock has decided that having Jonathan Rhys Meyers play the vampire in 19th-century London is a great idea. He's also playing an American businessman, for some inexplicable reason.
— Joshua Gillin [email protected]