On TV this week
Where's Amelia Earhart?, 8 p.m., NatGeo You can blow $10 on Hilary Swank's movie or sit at home and watch this fact-filled doc where you can yell at the people talking on their cell phones without fear of fisticuffs. Well, it still may be a problem at your house.
Bloodlines: The Dracula Family Tree, 10 p.m., History With less than a week to go, every network is trotting out the Halloween stuff. Here are a few people who claim to be descended from Vlad Dracul. You can tell by their aversion to light, mirrors and crucifixes.
Extreme Paranormal, 10 p.m., A&E The guys check out a decrepit mental asylum in eastern Pennsylvania. How can they tell? Everything in eastern Pennsylvania is decrepit.
NBA Basketball, 7:30 p.m., TNT It's Cavaliers vs. Celtics and Lakers vs. Clippers as the season starts with a doubleheader. And to think, the playoffs are a short 27 months away.
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, 8 p.m., ABC You love it and you know it. Every year we hope Chuck gets better with those scissors, but the kid just never learns.
Modern Marvels, 8 p.m., History What would a holiday in America be without a documentary reminding us what a commercial powerhouse it's become? Well, maybe not this year ...
Scream 2009, 10 p.m., Spike An awards show for people who hate awards shows, where geeks' favorites get prizes they actually deserve.
MLB Baseball, 7:30 p.m., Fox It's World Series time, but considering the teams duking it out, it's like choosing between bunions and shingles. Spring Training is only about five months away.
Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space, 8 p.m., NBC Yay, a spinoff from a cartoon movie! Because what would prime time be without tie-in promotions?
Top Chef: Las Vegas, 10 p.m., Bravo The survivors have to cook for Natalie Portman and her friends. Although to look at her, we're afraid she'd just look at the food, smile and talk about charities. Please, Nat, eat something!
SEASON PREMIERE UFO Hunters, 8 p.m., History Kooks swear they end up being contacted by men in black who demand they keep silent about communicating with aliens. This is impossible, because we all know they just flashy-thing you and make you think you're hungover or have indigestion.
From Dusk Till Dawn, 11:40 p.m., TMC As much as we love to see this Robert Rodriguez yarn at this time of year — because it takes a spectacular left turn from abduction drama to vampire orgy — we have to add the caveat that watching it on basic cable will seriously ruin your memory of its awesome grossness.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC McDreamy doubts his ability to do surgery. Again. Maybe he's the one who needs to be laid off.
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS Melinda thinks she's being haunted by the Headless Horseman from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but it turns out she's just been sleeping with the TV tuned to the Disney Channel all night. That would explain the other nightmares about ducks with no pants.
Dollhouse, 9 p.m., Fox Summer Glau lands on her feet after Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles went belly up. Gee, it's like she's been in two previous Joss Whedon joints already.
NUMB3RS, 10 p.m., CBS The gang pays tribute to The X-Files by aping the awesome Fox series (which turned into pretty middlin' movies). We thought Fringe did that every week.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org