On TV this week
Antiques Roadshow, 8 p.m., PBS In these tough economic times, it's gonna be great fun to watch a highlight show featuring nothing but those times when some yahoo walked in with a painting he bought at Salvation Army for $1.50 and found out it was worth $10,000. You can still dream.
Primal Fear, 9 p.m., History A two-hour documentary examining why we're scared of things like drowning; vermin; being buried, eaten or burned alive; or the unknown. Um, it's fairly obvious, isn't it?
Heroes, 9 p.m., NBC You know who needs a hero? The people who have given this show its decidely McCain-like downward turn. But hey, it's not election day for the gang just yet, so give it time.
NBA Basketball, 8 p.m., TNT There's yet another sport that's crept up on us when we weren't looking. But then, tonight is the Celtics and Cavs, so we might find a few minutes to watch.
The Rookies, 10 p.m., A&E A Tampa PD trainee seems to be having a hard time learning to put on her car's cherries, its siren and to call in her code every time she's in pursuit. You'd think she gets enough practice.
Real Housewives of Atlanta, 10 p.m., Bravo One benefit of our current global financial crisis? It just may turn people off to watching all this awful TV about awful "real" people doing awful rich things with their awful high-society lifestyles. Your lack of a paycheck is tough enough without watching rich people burn $100 bills.
MonsterQuest, 9 p.m., History As if bull sharks weren't scary enough because they're known maneaters, this show would like to remind you that they can swim upriver in fresh water to chomp on you while you're at the ol' swimmin' hole.
Parking Wars, 10 p.m., A&E No matter what Phillies fans say, this show will remind us that dispositions are certainly not always sunny in Philadelphia.
SEASON PREMIERE UFO Hunters, 10 p.m., History The eyewitness accounts this week come from a guy leaving an Ozzy Osbourne concert and a bunch of trick-or-treaters. Why don't they just go ahead and interview meth addicts?
SERIES PREMIERE The Real Exorcist. 7 p.m., Sci-Fi The Rev. Bob Larson, protagonist, meets with a possessed South African, a woman fighting evil spirits and a couple who think their family is cursed. And you think persuading undecided voters is difficult.
The Office, 9 p.m., NBC The scariest thing about this series' Halloween episode? No matter how outlandish the plots get, it still reminds us of our own jobs.
SEASON PREMIERE 30 Rock, 9:30 p.m., NBC Tina Fey takes some time off from playing Sarah Palin to do this show.
Ghost Hunters Live, 7 p.m., Sci-Fi An interactive, six-hour live special from Fort Delaware, in the middle of the Delaware River, to explore whether the former Civil War POW camp is haunted. Six hours of this? That's the scary part.
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS When every episode of your series is based on being able to communicate with ghosts, it must be hard to do a Halloween episode, huh?
Modern Marvels, 8 p.m., History The "marvel" is how Halloween became a $6 billion economic powerhouse. Guess what? Not this year, it's not.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org