On TV this week
The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia, 7 p.m., HBO A documentary about the condition that makes it difficult for people to comprehend written words or instructions. That's why it's a movie and not a book.
Scare Tactics, 7:30 p.m., SyFy Tracy Morgan hosts 31⁄2 hours of new episodes, including one in which Brooke Hogan is a glassy-eyed, would-be killer wandering through life in a daze. Wait, no, that's because she's playing a zombie.
90210, 8 p.m., CW Annie's new boy toy helps take nude pictures of Silver off the Internet. That's no way to win friends, pal.
Hoarders, 9 p.m., A&E A man is a hoarder because he is the son of a member of the Nazi SS. Okay, that's the first time we've heard a decent excuse for mental illness on this show.
Ellen DeGeneres: The Mark Twain Prize, 8 p.m. (check local listings), PBS A bunch of funny people gather at the Kennedy Center to pay tribute to a woman who once made her living by telling jokes about shoulder pads in women's jackets. You don't see that on the talk show these days.
SEASON FINALE Airport 24/7: Miami, 9 p.m., Travel If there's one thing this show has taught us, it's to never fly into Miami. This week there's a fire at a fuel depot, which is much more interesting than finding a bunch of pills in a passenger's bag.
Private Practice, 10 p.m., ABC Taye Diggs ends up on a reality show talking about his personal life. Because he'll have to do something after Kate Walsh leaves the show and he's unemployed.
SERIES PREMIERE Viral Video Showdown, 10:30 p.m., SyFy Kevin Pereira will quit floundering on G4's Attack of the Show long enough to host this contest about the weirdos who make viral videos competing for money by producing new clips based on a given theme. What if the theme is about desperate reality show contestants?
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, 8 p.m., ABC It's time again for the classic cartoon special, with Linus wasting Sally's time and Chuck getting a bag of rocks. Please, it's right here, so stop calling the newspaper and asking.
Suburgatory, 9:30 p.m., ABC Lisa is being extra nice to Ryan, leading him to think he must be dying. No, dear boy, it's much worse than that; you're adopted.
SEASON FINALE Face Off, 10 p.m., SyFy This is the live finale based on what you voted for on Tuesday night. Did you not know you were supposed to vote after Tuesday's episode? Gee, that's just too bad.
Chicago Fire, 10 p.m., NBC The chief orders everyone out of a warehouse fire, leaving a homeless man to burn to death inside, to which the media doesn't take too kindly. Well, next time the media can strap on 100 pounds of wet gear and run inside a building so hot your gas mask melts and see how they like it.
NBA Basketball, 7 p.m., TNT The Brooklyn Nets make their first appearance at the new Barclays Center. Oh, and they play the Knicks. Well, at least there's one reason to watch.
The 46th Annual CMA Awards, 8 p.m., ABC The first in a long season of country music ceremonies stretching to next summer kicks off. We hear Taylor Swift may be involved.
30 Rock, 8 p.m., NBC The presidential election apparently hinges on Jenna's fans. You mean people who like middle-aged actresses who keep turning up in shows you like but aren't distinctive enough for you to remember their names? Those are exactly the people this campaign is speaking to.
Four Weddings, 9 p.m., TLC One of the brides is having a booze-themed wedding. And here we thought that was every wedding.
SEASON PREMIERE Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC The second season of Home Improvement with girls instead of boys starts tonight, causing confusion everywhere among people who are still DVRing Home Improvement in syndication.
SERIES PREMIERE Malibu Country, 8:30 p.m., ABC Reba McEntire plays a country singer whose husband cheats on her, so she moves her family to California. The difference between this and Reba's real life is that here, Lily Tomlin plays her mom.
Shark Tank, 9 p.m., ABC Seth MacFarlane from Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show shepherds an inventor trying to build a new and improved fly trap. The first step is to market it with an animal or baby that talks.
Election 2012: What's at Stake, 9 p.m. (check local listings), PBS The election is in a mere four days, so if you're one of those people either too wishy-washy to have a basic set of principles or too much of a mouth-breather to pick up a newspaper once a month, this is a great special examining the presidential candidates' stances on the issues. No one who reads tbt* falls into either of these categories, of course.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org