On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE Sherri, 7 p.m., Lifetime Sherri Shepherd stars in this sitcom, which is based loosely on her own life. You mean she keeps forgetting words, doesn't know current events and uses terms incorrectly? What did Malcolm-Jamal Warner get himself into?
Monday Night Football, 8:30 p.m., ESPN Brett Favre plays against the Green Bay Packers in Minneapolis. Maybe Green Bay fans should watch his great Sears commercial to remember he's not such a bad guy.
Gossip Girl, 9 p.m., CW Tyra Banks guests as a glam actress getting ready to portray Josephine Baker, which won't resonate with this show's target audience as much as Hilary Duff's appearance will.
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC Contestants have to learn how to make healthy choices while eating out. Perhaps the smart choice these days, both physically and financially, would be to just stay home.
Melrose Place, 9 p.m., CW The new Melrose Place isn't as good as the new 90210, but we're just counting the days until Heather Locklear's episodes start.
SEASON PREMIERE Dirty Jobs, 9 p.m., Discovery Mike Rowe works at a recycling center to find out exactly why you should separate your paper from your aluminum. Watching him separate mattress components for reuse kind of grosses us out.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW The girls get to take a trip to Vegas for a Cirque du Soleil theme, although Benny Ninja is a sideshow all by himself.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 9 p.m., NBC Stabler ends up in solitary confinement after questioning producers about why there are so many crime shows on network TV these days.
Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m., ABC When you're all the way up to your 10th date, perhaps it's time to stop counting, lest you look like you're desperately lonely.
Parks and Recreation, 8:30 p.m., NBC Like this show? Sorry, it sounds like you're the only one who watches it. If Mischa Barton ends up guest-starring, that's the death knell.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC We're getting tired of this show's trademark of every single character steering the conversation back to themselves and how they feel about something awful that's happened to them. Seattle Grace will make the cut only as long as the fun new FlashForward is its lead-in.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 10 p.m., Bravo NeNe organizes a high-heel marathon to raise money for her Twisted Hearts Foundation. They will then have another benefit for the Twisted Ankles Foundation.
SEASON PREMIERE Ugly Betty, 8 p.m., ABC Betty starts her new job at Mode but doesn't like it. Of course not; it takes a good three to six months to learn to deal with the new work nonsense.
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS Eli's dad has a heart attack and is immediately met by his wife, who has been waiting in limbo for a decade to nag him some more.
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW It must be close to Halloween, because the episode revolves around a chemical weapon by Zod that turns people into zombies. It's a good thing there really isn't a device that converts chumps into slack-jawed, mindless gawpers who stare off into the distance.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com