On TV this week
SERIES PREMIERE The Rosie Show, 7 p.m., OWN Rosie O'Donnell gets to return to weekday television after getting bounced off The View, this time by hosting a variety show that puts a special focus on her unorthodox private life.
SERIES PREMIERE Oprah's Lifeclass, 8 p.m., OWN Don't get excited, because Oprah Winfrey isn't really back. They're just recycling old episodes of her talk show and adding some commentary to get people to reach their personal potential. By watching clips of her old program.
SEASON PREMIERE Bored to Death, 9 p.m., HBO Jonathan may finally get his book off the ground, which would totally ruin the entire idea behind this show.
SERIES PREMIERE Enlightened, 9:30 p.m., HBO Laura Dern stars as a corporate executive who has a meltdown and goes to a retreat for three months. When she comes back, she gets demoted to a demeaning job surrounded by weirdos. What, you mean like the rest of us? Sniff, sniff.
SERIES PREMIERE Hairy Bikers, 3 a.m., History A chef and a mechanic take off on motorcycles to learn all about Americana. Being up in the wee hours to watch reality shows is a part of that.
SERIES PREMIERE Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC Tim Allen returns in what is essentially Home Improvement with sporting goods instead of tools and three daughters instead of three sons. It will probably run for nine seasons.
BET Hip Hop Awards 2011, 8 p.m., BET Mike Epps hosts for a third time as Lil Wayne, Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa lead the list of nominees. Don't forget, Jessie J won four MOBO Awards last week.
The Dotted Line, 8 p.m., ESPN Morgan Spurlock examines the lives of big-time sports agents, who all have been warned not to write mission statements.
Viking Wilderness, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Some animals have adapted to use Northern Europe's geothermal heat to stay warm in the freezing cold. They're called snow bunnies, and they frequent ski-resort hot tubs.
SERIES PREMIERE Reed Between the Lines, 10 p.m., BET Tracee Ellis Ross from Girlfriends and Malcolm-Jamal Warner from The Cosby Show return to TV as the parents of teen twins and a 7-year-old daughter. They should visit Tim Allen and share tips.
SEASON PREMIERE Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, 9 p.m., Bravo Apparently the network thought that creating art on demand in a fixed time limit for a cash prize was compelling enough to warrant a second season. Eh.
America's Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian upstage LaToya Jackson, because while the trio elicits screams from the contestants, the girls don't even know who LaToya is.
Happy Endings, 9:30 p.m., ABC Will & Grace's Megan Mullally plays Penny's mom. Wow, when did that age difference happen?
SEASON PREMIERE Psych, 10 p.m., USA This season features guest appearances from William Shatner, Kristy Swanson, Corey Feldman, Malcolm McDowell, Joey McIntyre, Molly Ringwald, Danny Glover and Wade Boggs, who no doubt will make reference to his Red Sox years and not his Devil Rays tenure.
The Big Bang Theory, 8 p.m., CBS Wil Wheaton and Brent Spiner from Star Trek: The Next Generation show up and invite Sheldon and Leonard to a house party, but Sheldon doesn't want to go. Yeah, like those two dorks would get invited to a party.
Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime Speaking of Star Trek franchises, Zoe Saldana is a guest judge on this week's episode. We bet Sheldon and Leonard would attend Zoe's party.
SERIES PREMIERE Bordertown: Laredo, 10 p.m., A&E A documentary series about cops fighting drugs along the Mexico border. In case you weren't fearful and depressed enough this late in the week.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 10 p.m., FX Frank Reynolds has a brother. That's scarier than the drug war in Laredo.
Expedition Wild, 6 p.m., NatGeo Casey Anderson heads into the backwoods of Yellowstone as winter begins to settle in. Don't worry, when that supervolcano blows, it won't ever be cold again.
Explorer, 9 p.m., NatGeo A doc about the yakuza crime lords and the Tokyo cops tracking them down, which is funny, because everyone knows the yakuza pay off the cops.
American Restoration, 9:30 p.m., History Rick works on a horse-drawn fuel wagon and a 1940s feminine hygiene product dispenser. That won't be embarrassing for him at all.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org